


How to keep a Pyromaniac

by Gemenice



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Asexual Character, I don't know... something?, M/M, future Eddie/Axel, hints of coldflash, mention of kinks, mickster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-27 00:47:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemenice/pseuds/Gemenice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m going to bed.” He said, turned and marched out of the room. Axel blinked, then hurried after the man – Mick started doing that lately. Finding Axel after they were watching or playing something scary with Piper, which was fun and Axel loved it, he just wasn’t such a fan of fear that came after (at least when he was the one that was afraid) – and calling him to bed, in his own special way. Or well, ordering him to bed. Or just dragging him to bed, on several occasions, actually...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many thanks to [Liu ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Liu/pseuds/Liu) for helping me out with this<3

Axel bit his lip, his back pressing against the wall as he frowned and tried to keep his eyes focused on the screen. He wasn’t too successful though, because his vision always strayed to one side or the other, trying to pick anything out of ordinary in the darkness surrounding him and Hartley.

 

Talking about Hartley – fuck that guy. Axel was all for horror movies, he loved them and took them not only as inspiration and learning material but also as _fun_ , but he was smart enough not to be willing to watch them in the dark. Not Hartley though, nooo. Let’s make the room the darkest it could possibly be, he said. It will be fun, he said. And they called _Axel_ the crazy one.

 

He yelped and jerked when _something_ jumped out on the screen and he was so happy that none of the old Rogues were around to hear that. Though the fact that he didn’t _shriek like a girl_ coughHARTLEYcough was a bit uplifting.

 

“Enough.” Axel huffed and stood up, biting his lip, before taking a small step closer to the door. Then another and another until he was standing in front of it and he reached to touch the light switch, when the door suddenly opened, and okay, fuck not screeching like a girl.

 

The light turned on and Mick was standing in front of Axel and Hartley, lifting an eyebrow.

 

“That will be useful if we ever get a dog.” He huffed out and Axel took a deep breath. Oh god. He wasn’t even sure when the last time he was this scared was.

 

…probably yesterday. After Hartley brought that game over. Axel didn’t even want to think about its name. It burnt prettily enough though, after his and Hartley’s yells pissed Mick off enough to grab that thing and just get rid of it once and for all. And for once, Cold didn’t even bitch about Heatwave burning stuff, which wasn’t really right in Axel’s opinion, because Heatwave was sometimes like an overgrown puppy. Or well, at least he seemed so to Axel. He constantly needed to be reminded that some things were wrong. Like setting Axel’s stuff on fire.

 

“What the _fuck_ , Rory, are you trying to scare us to death?!” Hartley hissed and Mick rolled his eyes.

 

“Yes, because I wish for nothing more than Lenny bitching about how hard it would be to get rid of your bodies.” The pyromaniac huffed, then looked Hartley up and down. “Though it would be a nice way to try the changes on the Heat gun.”

 

“What do you want in my room?” Piper asked and huffed and Mick turned to look at Axel.

 

“I’m going to bed.” He said, turned and marched out of the room. Axel blinked, then hurried after the man – Mick started doing that lately. Finding Axel after they were watching or playing something scary with Piper, which was fun and Axel loved it, he just wasn’t such a fan of fear that came after (at least when he was the one that was afraid) – and calling him to bed, in his own special way. Or well, ordering him to bed. Or just dragging him to bed, on several occasions, actually, now that Axel thought about it. Axel wasn’t going to complain about that though. He was still thankful for Mick taking him in that first night months ago. Axel was trying to get into Lisa’s bed at first, because if _he_ was scared shitless of her, surely all of the possible and impossible monsters and ghost and ghouls and who knew what else had to be (he wasn’t afraid of murderers, he lived with freaking metas and hey, killers were sometimes just really, really misunderstood people, okay), though Lisa didn’t want to hear anything about that. She even threatened to cut Axel’s junk off if he dared to touch her bed, and he ended up standing in front of Lisa’s bed, whining and begging until Mick groaned and lifted his covers along with ‘for fuck’s sake get over here and _shut up_ ’. Axel did, trying to stay on the very edge of the bed, but then he slipped over to Rory’s side and the man growled. Axel yelped and tried to pull back, because he _so_ didn’t want to get kicked out of that bed, not at all. But Rory didn’t do that, he threw his arm over Axel and pulled him _closer_ and Axel blinked before settling down, half of his body pressing against the man, and it felt so warm, like there was a real fire hiding under Rory’s flesh. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep, all horrors of the game forgotten for the time being.

 

They changed the safe houses two times from that time, since they got burnt down on accident (and only one was Mick’s fault, the other time it was Mardon starting the fire with a pan for pancakes, then forgetting about it and getting a shower) and Axel felt like his and Mick’s relationship moved quite a bit as well. At first the man could hardly stand him, and nowadays he went over to the couch and sat down next to Axel whenever he was playing some game on the (stolen) Xbox and Playstation, let him come to his own room when he was cleaning his Heat gun, and let Axel talk about whatever prank he did one time or another, or what bombs he planned on making next. Mick would also go out of his way to find Axel and drag him to the shop along with him when it was Mick’s turn to get groceries and he’d always buy Axel the sugary sticks that he liked so much – and the ones that Cold always forbid him, because he said that sugar was not good for him at all.

 

So Axel wasn’t so surprised when he found out that somehow, during the time he spent with Cold’s Rogues, he maybe, possibly, grew attached to Mick. And he was half sure that Mick didn’t hate him either, because of that one time when they were alone in the hide out, watching one of the reality shows, Axel lying on the couch with his head in Mick’s lap and it was all so warm and nice and content that Axel got a bit crazy (a bit more than usual). He turned to his back, watched Mick for a moment, before his hand lifted up, and pulled the big guy closer to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. Nothing much, just mouth pressed against mouth, not even parted lips. Only when he felt Heatwave freezing all over did he realize his mistake and he pulled back, yelped and tried to run – maybe he could hide in Lisa’s room until the rest returned, no one dared to destroy Lisa’s stuff – but before he got too far away, Mick’s hand stopped him.

 

For the first time in forever Mick’s touch felt like a burning shackle on Axel’s arm and he bit his lip, wondering if he would die then and there, Cold’s ‘no killing’ rule not being that important after all. Mick’s other hand rose to Axel’s face and his eyes scrunched shut, expecting the punch or something… but instead he got a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. As if Mick himself was unsure about what he was doing. He chanced a look at Mick’s face, but there was nothing, no malicious intent or anything similar and he licked his lips, before letting his mouth split in a wide grin – just to get a huff and be pushed off Mick’s lap as the man stood up. But to Axel it felt like _something_.

 

And that something didn’t go away. It only built up into more and more and Axel wasn’t sure if he would call that love. Love was probably too innocent for them. But it was something, something that made Axel’s stomach flutter and burn and made him want to _be_ around Mick. So he was. And Mick didn’t push him away. No matter what Axel did, the guy always had his door opened for him – and he even covered up for Axel that one time when a prank that was supposed to mess up Bivolo ended up on Cold. And Hartley’s ass got frozen for that, but neither, Mick nor Axel, was too sad about _that_.

 

Especially not since it was after Hartley spent  all of his  time asking Axel how great Mick was in the bed and if he was just as big as he seemed. When Axel didn’t say a word, he started laughing, saying how weird it was that they didn’t have sex yet. That there had to be something broken in Axel if he didn’t want that. And that wasn’t even the truth, because Axel wanted it. He spent enough time in the shower with his hand over his dick, rubbing it quickly, or on the one occasion slipping his fingers in his ass and stretching himself a bit – learning that _yes_ , lube _was_ important there and water wasn’t that great to use instead.

 

So yes, Axel was thinking about the sex. He was thinking about it a lot, actually, even more so since he had that talk with Piper. Because he _did_ wonder how Mick would feel slipping into him. How he would grunt above Axel about how tight he was and in his deep fantasies he even hoped that maybe, Mick would let him try it the other way around as well. It wouldn’t matter much at all if they had at least _some_ sex. But that wasn’t happening and as it was, Axel was sex-less, desperate and wanting.

 

Maybe that was the reason why he was shuffling in Mick’s bed more than usual, turning from one side to the other and back.

 

“Just come here and settle down, for fuck’s sake.” Mick grunted out and Axel bit his lip, before slipping closer to the man. Mick was lying on his side, his eyes closed and Axel just watched him for few moments. Then he took a deep breath, let his hand touch Mick’s side, before running it over Mick’s stomach and slipping lower onto Mick’s dick and –

 

And his hand was caught in what felt like iron grip. Axel’s eyes snapped up to Mick, who was watching him, his gaze unreadable.

 

“What are you doing?” He asked and Axel shrugged. Wasn’t it pretty obvious?

 

“Seducing you?” He offered and grinned, but Mick’s expression didn’t change. His eyes didn’t harden; he didn’t roll his eyes or huff. He just stared and it made Axel nervous. So he just grinned wider and wiggled closer to Mick, trying to get pressed as much of his body up against Mick as  possible.

 

The grasp on Axel’s wrist tightened for a moment before Mick let go of him, pulled back and sat up.

 

“I have no intention of fucking you.” He spat and the trickster blinked at that… wait, what?

 

“Like right now? Does your head hurt? Is that a thing?” Axel asked, kneeling on the bed and sitting down on his haunches.

 

“Like _ever._ ”

 

There was really no point for the world to shake around Axel, he was sure. There was no reason for him to feel like he was a slowly cracking mirror, no reason at all.

 

Haha, so funny.

“So what, I’m supposed to stay a virgin until I die?” Axel asked and rolled his eyes, laughing. Because that was it, wasn’t it? Mardon said Mick had a really weird sense of humor sometimes.

 

But the man didn’t crack a smile, nothing. He just continued with that staring as if he wanted to see straight into Axel’s soul or something, which, yeah, Axel didn’t have anymore, he sold it off for family of Rogues, he was sure, then shrugged.

 

“Go to Rathaway, he is a regular whore, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind sleeping with anyone.”

 

Those cracks on that mirror? Fuck them. Axel felt like his whole mind was breaking, falling to tiny, tiny pieces around his feet.

 

“Is this a joke?” Axel asked and he was surprised that his voice didn’t shake or break. He’d pat himself on the back too, if he were able to think.

 

Mick lifted an eyebrow at that.

 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” He asked, and it was exactly that. No. No, Mick didn’t seem like he was joking, he wasn’t anywhere near joking and Axel stared for a few seconds longer, before he jumped up – almost falling flat on his face as one of his feet got tangled in Mick’s fucking blankets, before quickly retreating from Rory’s room. He didn’t stop until he could feel the door of his own room closing behind him, and he pressed up against it.

 

What. The. Fuck. Who said something like that to person they were in a relationship with!? Were they even in a relationship? Maybe Axel was just reading too much into it. But no, he wasn’t, because if one didn’t find someone at least a tiny bit attractive – in case one didn’t like them at all – no one would even kiss them, right? And they did kiss. Mick and Axel kissed a lot and sure, not hot passionate kisses that the movies were full of, no tongues deep in their throats or something, but Axel didn’t have his tongue _that_ long so he didn’t mind that at all.

 

But this… this was different. This felt like Rory dismissing whatever Axel thought he might be to him. Whatever he was to Axel and that… hurt. Strangely hurt so much that not even thinking about all kind of revenge pranks that he could use on the man did anything for Axel’s mood. And if a tear or two slipped from his eyes, there was no one to see anyway.

 

Axel didn’t sleep very well that night, and his fear of the things hiding in the darkness wasn’t the only reason.

***

Axel felt like he only managed to really fall asleep just a few moments before he was woken up again by Hartley whining about this or that right in front of his door. And considering that the only answer he got were grunts and huffs that would mean – Axels’ eyes snapped open as he got up from the bed and ran to the door. Maybe Mick wanted to say he was sorry. He _did_ behave like an asshole after all and –

 

But it was Mardon and Hartley in front of him and something in Axel’s chest fell further down, settling down in his stomach like food gone bad. Hartley stopped arguing when the door opened too, and he ran his eyes over Axel before snorting.

 

“Purple briefs, really? Can you be _more_ obvious?” Axel glanced at him, then decided that he really had to feel horrible when he didn’t have anything awful to say back to Piper. He rolled his eyes and pushed between the two Rogues, going to the bathroom. Being a bit underwhelmed didn’t change the fact that he needed to piss. And he really needed to hurry if he didn’t want to take a piss on Hartley – that thought made him grin a bit, because Piper being the freak he was, surely wouldn’t get through a little piss in his hair or, god forbid, on his clothes or those stupid gloves of his. He probably checked the road four times before crossing it, just to make sure no car would hit him and no bodily functions would go crazy on those gloves, pff.

 

Axel even got a shower – though his hands didn’t stray from strict cleaning this time and by the time he got down for breakfast he felt a bit better. His head cleared a little and breathing came a bit easier as well. He even thought of a new prank to try on Cold and he was snickering in his cereal when Mick came into the kitchen, lifted an eyebrow at Axel, took the bowl from his hands and went to sit on the couch.

 

Axel swallowed hard, his hands clenching at thin air and his mind blown. What was that supposed to mean?

 

It didn’t end with the cereals either. Mick sat down on the chair next to him when Cold decided to have a meeting about their next heist _two weeks early_ (Shut up, Axel, we need to plan this right so we can keep our cool when the time comes!), he brought Axel’s plate with lunch over for him where he was playing on the Playstation, he rolled his eyes at Hartley when Piper complained that Axel was taking too long and that he should let other people have a go too. Everything was so normal, and it was that what finally made Axel snap in the evening, throw the controller on the ground, grab Hartley and pull him up to Hartley’s room,  pressing his mouth against the boy’s. He’ll show Mick normal. He didn’t have the right to behave normal after doing that to Axel just the evening before.

 

Hartley was shocked for a while, but then he pressed into the kiss, forcing his tongue into Axel’s mouth. The kisses were nothing like Mick’s, and that was good. That was exactly what Axel wanted so he gave as good as he got, biting at Hartley’s bottom lip and licking right back. He felt Hartley’s mouth curl into a smirk against his, before the boy pushed him and Axel fell back onto the bed. Next moment Hartley was on him and Axel stopped paying attention to everything, including the speed at which their clothes disappeared.

 

Some time after, he found himself kicked out of Hartley’s room, clutching at his things and feeling worse than he did before. It wasn’t that the sex was bad. It was actually pretty good as far as bodies pressing against each other and sweating and oozing white, almost see-through liquids went. It just wasn’t _it._

 

It wasn’t what Axel expected. It wasn’t fireworks, it wasn’t burning down in his stomach and it didn’t leave him all warm, tingly and lazy. It wasn’t what Axel _wanted_ it to be. It was mostly hard breathing, sweat, a lot of it, desperation, short satisfaction… and then nothing. Axel shook his head, his clothes still pressed against his chest in a subconscious need for some kind of a barrier, for something that would help him calm himself down as he walked to his room, unaware of the shadow watching him from the darkness.

 

As Axel lay in bed, he desperately tried to force himself to believe that he didn’t miss the hard, big, warm body pressed against his back. That he didn’t miss the beefy arms, pulling him closer…

***

The next few days felt… weird for Axel. He couldn’t really face Mick, because whenever he did, this horrible bitter feeling surged from his stomach up to his throat, either making Axel choke on it or just really, really sick.

 

He couldn’t look at Hartley either, because even though the guy couldn’t know anything and Axel didn’t really blame him, the leers and eyebrow wiggling that he did whenever Axel walked in the room (if he wasn’t making fun of him) just made Axel feel even worse. Even though he told himself he didn’t have a reason to feel guilty, he didn’t have any reason to feel like he betrayed Mick’s trust. Because he didn’t. It was _Mick_ that told Axel to fuck off and to go to Hartley. It was Mick’s suggestion, not Axel’s. It was Mick that didn’t want to have sex with Axel, and instead of saying anything he pushed him away on someone else and that wasn’t what people in relationships normally did!

 

But no matter what Axel told himself, nothing made it better. So he started to spend more time in his room, not even coming out when he heard most of the Rogues were inside. He only got out early in the morning, otherwise he busied himself with making new bombs, or a pony that changed eye colors whenever someone pressed its stomach, mashing Cold’s and Flash’s pictures together – which mostly looked like Len wearing the mask, to be honest – and sending them to everyone on his email contact list. He drew a few penises on Mardon’s door and put toothpaste on Piper’s handle. The Rogues growled and yelled, complaining and Axel always came out for that, making sure the grin on his face was as wide and manic as ever, and while yes, those made him giggle and snicker… they didn’t really help with the feeling deep down in his chest. He didn’t say anything though, just pulled more pranks, to the point of Glider telling him she was personally going to get ‘Lenny’ to freeze his ass and drag him in front of a police station and _leave him there_ if he didn’t stop. So everything was as it was supposed to be. The rest still thought that he was as annoying and bothersome as ever, so no one paid too much attention to him and to the fact that he did his best to stay out of Mick’s way.

 

Well almost no one. Cold seemed to watch him a bit more than usual, with less growls and threats. Axel had no idea what to make of that, but he was glad that Cold didn’t comment at least. Cold didn’t even yell at him to pay more attention on their next heist planning, even though it was more than obvious that Axel was doing anything but that, with him sitting all the way back, not even at the table with them and laughing at his phone. Who knew there was an app that let you kick Cold’s ass as Flash?

 

But maybe Cold knew more than Axel gave him credit for, because there was the moment when his eyes narrowed at the empty chair near Mick, before he swept his gaze over Axel. The trickster pretended not to notice though, as he laughed harder at the game and kicked his legs out a bit for show. Cold huffed, then turned back to the rest of the rogues to continue to bore them with whatever ‘cool’ plan he came up with that time with Axel’s giggles still echoing in the background.

 

Once Axel was sure no one was paying attention to him – funnily each and every one of the Rogues seemed to forget about everything around them the moment money and gold was mentioned, like they didn’t even care about the fun and game around it all - he slipped out of the room quietly. The grin fell from his face with the sound of the door closing. Axel didn’t even know when was the last time that his laughter felt as forced and _fake_ as right then. He shook his head and walked to the kitchen. He could pretty much get something to eat before the rest would finish and then he’ll be able to just go to his room, saying it was too late for him already.

 

He searched the cupboard for some cereal, then blinked, surprised to find the chocolate ones that he loved so much there. The ones that Cold forbid anyone from buying because they consisted of so much sugar, that it felt like Axel could laugh just from that food alone and his pranks turned even more childish and crazy after them. He shrugged and grabbed them, filling his bowl and adding milk, before settling himself on the couch, knees pulled up so he could put the bowl on them as he browsed channels for something good enough to watch. The door opened again then though and Axel’s eyes slipped over just to see Mick coming out from the meeting room as well. No one else seemed to follow, the fact that Mick closed the door behind him was good enough of a hint and Axel stood up. He couldn’t do this. He avoided staying alone in a room with Mick ever since that night. He couldn’t do that then. He turned, trying to stop his stomach from jumping when he realized he’d have to go around the Rogue to leave. He took a step, then another and another and when he was next to Mick his walk quickened. He was almost at the staircase when he heard a growl, then the back of his shirt was grabbed, and he was being dragged back towards the couch from where he tried to leave just moments ago. Axel turned, fighting to escape, but Mick’s grip only moved to his arms, forcing him onto the couch with him and then the warm fingers scrubbed at his scalp, before pulling lightly at his hair – and Axel was gone.

 

His eyes filled with tears as he pressed himself against Mick, hiding his face in the man’s chest, muttering sorry over and over again. The man didn’t say a word, just continued patting Axel’s hair, his warm presence everywhere around. Axel felt like something shifted in him then, the world falling into the right place after a long time and he didn’t pull away when he heard the door opening again and people coming out. He didn’t pay attention when someone stopped by Mick and him either, telling something to Mick. He felt Mick’s grunt under his cheek, the man’s chest vibrating with the words that left his mouth and Axel couldn’t care less what they were, everything felt _right_ at that moment, and he didn’t want anything to mess that up for him again.

 

***

Things were better after that, at lest that was what Axel believed, because they felt better, Axel started sleeping in Mick’s bed again and spent time with him in general. It felt almost perfect. Almost because there was still that one little issue with Axel – the sex. And he wouldn’t go get it from someone else, no way, not again. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the act, he did, because it was kind of better than just fucking into his hand, but he hated the feeling that followed. No, sex with someone else was out of question. The only sex that Axel was willing to have (desperately, desperately wanted to have) was with Mick. Only the guy told him that he would _never_ fuck Axel… and Axel bit his lip.

 

“Stop that.” A huff came and Axel blinked and turned a bit to be able to look at Mick.

 

“Stop what?” He asked, the TV forgotten for the time being. Mick’s eyes slipped half closed as he lifted his hand, grasping Axel’s chin and pressed his thumb on Axel’s bottom lip to pull it away from his teeth. Which in turn made Axel’s heart thump in his chest, miss a few beats and then start beating like crazy as if it realized that it shouldn’t be quiet at all and now had to make up for it. His heart beat so _loud_ too and Axel was sure that even Mick could hear it. He swallowed and his tongue slipped out to lick at his lips nervously – touching Mick’s thumb in process. Axel wasn’t sure if Mick’s eyes widened or if it was just his stupid wish, but it was that (and the fact that he was really, really horny) that made him open his mouth wider, lick at Mick’s thumb again before closing his lips around it and sucking. The man sat frozen, just staring at Axel – before he pulled his hand away and turned back to the TV.

 

“Len’s going to be home soon.”

 

That was it?! Axel whined and growled, something beating at his brain. That all made him so freaking _frustrated_ … but he had no right to feel like that. Mick told him he didn’t want him. So Axel grinned and sat up, throwing his arms up and stretching.

 

“Yeah. Should we mix all the cereals in one box and then shake very, very thoroughly?” He asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. Snart would _freak._

 

Mick scoffed at him, but stood up and even got Axel a bowl to mix the cereal in before helping with stuffing them in box. As Axel cackled, he told himself that this was good. Nothing else mattered, other than these moments with Mick that he loved so much.

 

But somehow everything seemed to go to hell shortly after that. A few days were calm and wonderful, they even managed to rob that one bank and Flash didn’t even show up – there were stakes about what happened to him, whether someone managed to kill him already (but Cold looked too calm when that was mentioned, so Axel really didn’t believe it was that), or he got bored of the heroism, or as Hartley said, he got fucked really, really well and couldn’t get up. And that moment right there was when everything started to go to hell. Because it didn’t matter what Axel did, whether it was shopping with Mick, watching TV with Mick, playing games or just sitting around the Rogues, everything and everyone seemed to bring up sex.

 

Like Lisa sleeping with that one guy that she met in the pub the other day, and  ‘Lenny, you can’t freeze him, it’s none of your business who I date’ and ‘it’s not a date if it lasts just for few hours!’, ‘of course not! It only lasts until I come’. Or like all those ads late at night, saying about this or that toy that would make your partner happy and go crazy. Or the time when Hartley actually got a Kamasutra game on the Xbox. A freaking Xbox. It was like everything was suddenly against Axel, telling him how great sex was and how he should want it and… Axel was a healthy guy. He _did_ want to be intimate with the guy he liked. It was the guy who didn’t want to be. And Axel had no idea what to do about that.

 

He groaned, letting his head land on the table with a loud thump when he could hear another one of Lisa’s stories, this time about a hookup from a few years ago – and Axel refused to listen anymore, just wished for Mick to come back already. He went out with Cold, supposedly getting something for their guns or something, Axel was kind of bored with their talk. But now he kind of wished he tagged along with them when Mick asked him if he wanted to, because that would mean that he wouldn’t need to sit there, listening to Lisa and Hartley comparing their sexapades. When Axel still felt like a fucking virgin, even after that one time with Piper. Because that was quick, dirty, sweaty and _done._

 

Axel blinked and turned his head so his cheek was resting against the table when he felt a manicured finger poking him. He was alone in the kitchen with Lisa, meaning that Hartley went off to do whatever (probably google Ramon or something again to fap to his pictures).

 

“What do you want?” Axel asked, really not in the mood for once. Lisa lifted an eyebrow and huffed before sitting down next to the trickster.

 

“You’re a bit of a bitch lately.” Lisa pointed out, her hand brushing through her hair and pushing it back as she threw one leg over the other. “Even more than Rathaway and that’s saying something.”

 

… did the freaking observant people and being smart about it run in their family or something? If so, Axel really, really never wanted to meet Snart’s father. The combination of an asshole and smart might be pretty deadly there.

 

“Things suck.” Axel groaned out, because he had a feeling there would be no point in lying to her. She was too bright for his own good. Not to mention scary.

 

“And not even in the good way, hm?” The Glider wiggled her eyebrows before shrugging. “This _is_ about Mick, right?”

 

Axel was right. Fucking smart people. He looked away and shrugged and Lisa groaned and pushed at his arm. “Come on, spit it out. Or I’m throwing away or of your chocolate cereals.”

 

Axel’s eyes widened at that, because noooo, not his cereal, anything but his chocolate cereal!

 

“And,” Lisa continued, “I’m telling Lenny about the Snickers under your bed.”

 

“He doesn’t want to have sex with me.” Axel’s mouth opened, babbling before he realized he was saying anything. When he did, he fought the need to clamp his hand over his mouth and he looked up at Glider. She was frowning, and oh god, she was going to tell Mick and then Mick will be angry and there will be no cuddles and-

 

“Maybe you didn’t find the right kink for him?” Lisa offered and Axel frowned at that. Wait… what?

 

“Kink?” Axel asked, the word heavy on his tongue as he sat up, looking at Lisa.

 

“Well, yes.” Lisa said and leaned back in her chair. “Sometimes people don’t do just _any_ sex, you know. A few years back there was this guy that only wanted to have sex when he was wearing a mask. Some people are into collars or puppy play. Some people like the whole D/s scene, some are into blood play, bondage, food play, pain play, cuddles, milking, tickling, toys… there is a freaking lot of kinks, kiddo. Maybe you just need to find the one that makes his blood boil, you know.” She said then smirked. “Personally, I think Chrysophilia is a wonderful kink.”

 

Axel stared, then slowly licked his lips. It’s not like he understood more than one or two words out of that all, but…

 

“Are you helping me?” He asked and frowned. “Why?”

 

Lisa rolled her eyes.

 

“Because you and Hartley are like the younger brothers I never wanted.” She said and then stood up, messing Axel’s hair. “You two are annoying as hell, but it doesn’t feel right when you’re like this.” Axel wasn’t sure how exactly he should feel about _that_ revelation. “Now, if you excuse me, I have enough of your moping and I have date with Benedict Cumberbatch. At least _his_ face is hot. Gee, I love Sherlock.”

 

“Hmpf. Moriarty is better!”

 

“ _You_ ’d think that!”

***

Axel actually thought about Lisa’s suggestion. But truly, he had no idea what Mick was into – other than fire and that was nope, not that he didn’t trust the man, but Axel always had a certain respect for both fire and water, so if he could help it, he wouldn’t touch that option just yet. At least not until he tried everything else.

 

Mick also liked his gun – but what Axel found on the internet as ‘gun porn’ wasn’t too safe. Especially if it was Heatwave’s gun, so… Axel would try to think about that first as well. He groaned and bit his lip – he wouldn’t ask Lisa. Having one heart to heart with her this month was enough. Cold knew Mick… but Axel really couldn’t imagine what _that_ talk would look like. He could try asking Mick. Sure, he told Axel he had no intentions to fuck him, but maybe he thought Axel was too vanilla? Or maybe too young or something. Well, Axel would show him. He growled and turned to the computer, searching few web sites. It was interesting how many things one could purchase online.

 

… okay, the collar wasn’t a good idea. It scratched at Axel’s neck when he put it on, and seriously, if Mick was going to be into that, Axel would go out and buy a special collar, not a dog one. But a collar was a collar so Axel shrugged and slipped into Mick’s room. The man was sitting on the bed, reading (and Axel still remembered how surprised he was when he saw all those books in Heatwave’s room for the first time). It was fascinating how well Mick knew Axel – how he could recognize his footsteps, knowing it was him and not someone else sneaking into his room, because the man didn’t even look up.

 

Axel took a deep breath and walked over to the bed, before kneeling down.

 

“Yes, master.” He whispered, head bowed down, but his eyes trained at Mick from under his eyelids. The man’s hand froze on the page he was intending to turn, before he slowly turned to Axel. He didn’t say anything though, so Axel was so going to take that as a good thing and surprise. Yes, that’s what it was. “You can do anything you want to me, master.”

 

“What the hell are you? A dog? Get that stupid thing off.” Mick growled and Axel huffed, undoing the collar and throwing it away. He slipped onto Mick’s bed, lying down, before putting his head on Mick’s shoulder. His eyes slipped to the book Mick was reading and he could still feel Mick’s eyes on him. “What was that?”

 

“Just an experiment.” Axel beamed. Yes, collar and master/slave play were so off the list. Mick rolled his eyes and settled more comfortably, one hand letting go of the book so he could throw it around Axel, who sighed happily and snuggled closer to Mick, lying half on top of him.

 

“Don’t fall asleep like that.” Mick warned. “I’m not going to have a numb arm the whole day because of you.” Axel hmmed an affirmative, and fell asleep anyway. Mick didn’t wake him up though and Axel’s feeling warred between guilty and giddy when he saw Mick flexing his arm several times the next day.

 

So the collars were off. So was crossdressing (Mick plainly threw him out that one time and Lisa bitched so much when he broke one of her heels), spanking (even though he wasn’t really clear about how Mick felt about that one, since when he slapped his ass pretty hard – like Axel even got the swing into it and all - he just turned to him and glared. But the glare _might_ ’ve been because there was Cold then too and Axel had just really, _really_ shitty timing). The leather slash latex wasn’t too horrible. Mick actually watched him for a moment and Axel felt really good about that, but Axel chose a really warm day for the latex-leather combination. Sweating in it wasn’t really nice either and he ran to the shower some hours later – and they still didn’t do anything. Though Axel couldn’t blame Mick for that one, because the sweat with leather and latex made him want to faint and his whole body itched. At that moment Axel swore he was spending money on this stuff and not just borrowing things from Hartley ever again. Dominant/submissive play went out of the window as well, because when Axel asked him if he was ‘allowed to sit with him at the table for breakfast’, the man rolled his eyes at him, and told him that he was old enough to make his own decisions.

 

After that, Axel gave up and he printed a whole list of kinks along with their description, marched to Mick’s room and started reading them out loud, one after another, stopping after each one to judge Mick’s expression when it came to them. When they got to the wax-play, Mick stood up and pushed Axel on the bed, his hand coming to Axel’s fly in seconds. Oh, so that must’ve been it. Axel threw his head back when Mick touched him, for the first time ever and his hands were so hot, then his mouth came, a bit hesitant but sucking and licking and freaking warm and Axel lost any sense of time. He came to himself as he was breathing hard, a wide grin on his face, because damn, that was the best fucking blowjob ever (didn’t matter that it was the only one as well). He grinned wider and leaned on his elbows, looking at Mick – but there was something in his expression… something that made Axel hesitate for a moment, before he licked his lips.

 

“Now me.” He said and sat up quickly, reaching his hand out to cup Mick though his pants. His eyes widened when the man pulled his hips away – but not before Axel got a feel. Yes, Mick was big, but he was also _soft._ There was not even a hint of hardness when it came to Mick’s dick, and Axel stared.

 

“It wasn’t good for you.” He said quietly, because thank you, he knew how the anatomy worked, and he got hard just thinking about Mick and his body and here Mick gave Axel a freaking blowjob and _nothing_. Not even a little wave for attention. Mick sucked Axel off, Axel _came_ in his mouth and – and suddenly Axel knew what that expression that he couldn’t recognize on Mick’s face was. He was uncomfortable, he wasn’t _into it_ and Axel felt _sick._ Yes, he wanted to have sex with Mick. But he didn’t want that if Mick was unwilling. He was being an asshole and he was _pushing_ the man and oh god. _What did he do?_

“I’m _so_ sorry…” He whispered, his hand reaching for Mick, before he pulled it back. Mick told him he didn’t want to fuck Axel. Mick _told_ him. Axel jumped up, quickly doing up his pants and walked to the door quickly – he was the lowest of the low.

 

He was halfway out of the door already when Mick grabbed his arm, pulling him closer to himself. And normally that would be what Axel would want. Because sex was supposed to come with cuddling, with the whole love deal but this… Axel shook his head and struggled against the strong grip.

 

“Listen, brat-“

 

“Just let me go!” Axel gasped out, his other hand pressing against Mick’s chest to keep him away. Even that felt like his hand was burning and not in the good way. He had no right to touch Mick. No right at all.

 

“Axel, _listen-_ ”

 

“Mick.” Axel’s eyes snapped to Cold. “Let the kid go, Mick.”

 

“Not this time, Len.” The grip tightened around Axel’s arm. “Axel and I need to talk.”

 

“You can talk when he calms down.” Cold said, his head leaning to the side, while his eyes were still trained on Mick. “You know it’s better to deal with things when everyone is cool.” The hand was suddenly gone and Axel used the opportunity to escape.

 

He didn’t want to hear anymore. Whatever Cold thought about Mick was wrong. It wasn’t Mick that hurt Axel, it was the other way around. Axel couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror, how could Mick? And why didn’t he say anything?! Only he did, but Axel didn’t listen, because he was an idiot and he let his libido get better of him. He was so annoying with it all that Mick wasn’t even attracted to him and he sucked him, just to make Axel shut up. Why couldn’t he just keep his dick in his pants?!

 

***

Axel guessed that he could thank Cold for not having Mick at the door right that evening – or the next day. He couldn’t really talk to him just yet, he didn’t know _what_ to tell him, because the only thing that came to mind was ‘sorry’ and that didn’t feel like enough.

 

And he should’ve paid attention to the last meeting after all. If he did, he would’ve known that they were supposed to go rob that bank transfer money a few days after the whole bedroom fiasco. Thank god for Cold being a paranoid bastard about it all and giving them the last minute I’m-Axel-so-I-can’t-be-bothered-to-listen version of his plan.

 

Axel didn’t have a hard job. When someone shows up in – Axel kind of forgot how many minutes – keep them distracted and away from the car. Hartley and Mardon were going to help with that while Mick, Glider and Cold get the money and then they’ll disappear. The explanation was accompanied with ‘do you understand, Axel’ and he rolled his eyes at that, nodding. Geez, he wasn’t an idiot.

 

Though he had to admit he was a bit distracted. It wasn’t his fault, really, because he was trying to do his part of the plan. He was laughing and snickering, throwing his gas bombs left and right. Then Cold yelled at them, calling them over to get into one of the three cars they had – Axel turned to him, and that was a mistake. His eyes widened when he felt the pressure, then pain, pain, _pain_ and his knees gave up on him.

 

***

Mick watched as the kid fell to the ground.

 

He roared, his eyes flashing, his teeth bared as he looked at the cop holding the still smoking gun.

 

“You’re dead.” He spat, his gun up and aiming, the guy on fire within seconds. Mick’s mouth twitched as he walked closer to the guy withering on the ground. Just to have Cold grasp his arms, pulling them behind his back.

 

“Mick, stop! We have a deal!”

 

“I don’t _care_ , Len, he’s going to pay!” He said, struggling against him, then he felt another pair of hands, which he only guessed belonged to Mardon. “He’s going to die!”

 

“Think about the Trickster!” Len yelled and Mick stopped. “We _need_ to get him somewhere safe. And we need to get someone to him. We don’t kill this man, we don’t break any rules and Flash will help.” Len hissed into Mick’s ear. Mick was breathing hard, he could _hear_ his breaths coming out and his chest heaved and he nodded, spitting on the ground near the cop before turning and quickly walking to where Axel was. He ignored the groan the kid made when he lifted him to his arms and carried him to one of the cars, not even looking back at the group. He couldn’t hear the man’s cries anymore, so it probably meant they got rid of the fire, but he couldn’t care less. Lisa was already sitting behind the wheel and started the car the moment Mick closed the door.

 

The wound didn’t look pretty and Mick found himself growling again. What coward shot at a kid from behind?! He pressed his forehead against Axel’s gently and closed his eyes.

 

“Just be okay, brat.” He whispered.

 

***

Mick had no idea how Len managed, but Flash did help. He brought Snow over, who took one look at Axel and swore before she yelled at them, telling them what to bring so she could do something about the wound – after they refused to let her take Axel with her. It was a blessing that the kid was still unconscious from the pain.

 

Mick wasn’t even sure what was happening, the only thing he could see was Axel’s face, his heart clenching in sensation he wasn’t sure he ever felt before.

 

A few hours later he found himself sitting next to Axel’s bed, his eyes not moving from the kid an inch.

 

“One out of five people die of a gun shot wound.” Len said as he walked into the room, stopping to stand next to Mick. “Guess he’s one of the first four. Snow said he’ll live.” Mick knew that. He also heard her say that there were a lot of possible problems related to shoulder wounds and she couldn’t see the real damage without an x ray, but they still refused to let her move Axel. No way would they let her take him away from them, he was family, and Rogues protected their own. Flash just rolled his eyes at them all and in the end they agreed to drag Axel over when he’ll be able to move around a bit. They would have to change the safe house anyway, now that those two had seen it, so there wasn’t really a problem.

 

“…it’s not your fault, Mick. You couldn’t have done anything.”

 

“I know.” Mick growled out. He knew it wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t one of those idiots who would cry and blame themselves for everything, including wars and hunger in some countries. He knew he couldn’t do anything, he knew he was too far away – he was not going to blame himself about something like that. “I should’ve told him then. You shouldn’t have stopped me.”

 

“Are you blaming me then?” And Len’s voice was calm and collected like always.

 

“I’m not blaming anyone. I’m stating facts. I should have talked to him. Explain some things.”

 

Mick didn’t look, but he could imagine Len rolling his eyes at that.

 

“And how would that change the situation we’re in now? Would that change the cop’s decision to shoot? Would he miss suddenly? Would Axel grow eyes on the back of his head?”  And Mick had no idea how Len could be so fucking calm.

 

“He’d know I fucking cared!” He spat out, turning to look at Len.

 

“He’s not dead, Mick! And he’s not dying. You can still tell him!” Finally, there was a rise from dear Cold as well. His hand didn’t move to the gun though, and neither did Mick’s. This wasn’t a fight.

 

“Tell me what?” A quiet voice came from the bed and Mick’s eyes snapped to Axel’s pale face. The kid was looking at them, pain and confusion written over his features, but his eyes were opened, and he didn’t look _dead_. “You were talking about me, right? So tell me what?”

 

“That Mick is an old fuck that can’t deal with his feelings.” Cold answered and Mick didn’t look back to him, just bared his teeth.

 

“Yeah, like you’re doing a much better job with your red wonder.” He hissed. “Get lost, Len.” Len snorted at that, but did as he was told. He turned and walked out of the room, leaving Mick and Axel alone, in silence.

 

"I don't like sex." Mick said quietly after a while, and watched as Axel looked at him, confused.

 

"You don't like sex." He repeated and Mick nodded. "I don't understand."

 

Mick couldn't really blame the kid, because he couldn't understand most of it himself, so he just shrugged.

 

“I’ve seen porn under your bed. And – and you like to rub one off in the shower too…”

 

“Yes.” Mick nodded, and… he knew this was going to be hard. But Axel stuck with him for so long… he deserved a real explanation. “I masturbate.”

 

“… do you think of me when you do?”

 

Mick should’ve really counted with a question like that, perhaps… And it would be so easy to lie to the kid, to see him smile… but there was enough of misunderstanding and not being honest between them.

 

“No.” Mick said, watching as Axel’s face fell and he looked down. “But I’m not thinking about myself either.” At that, Axel looked back up, shaking his head again. “It’s nothing against you, Axel. It’s just… I don’t like to be touched with sexual intent. I don’t like to touch people with the same. It doesn’t do anything for me.”

 

The kid was quiet, just watching him for some time, before he sighed.

 

“That’s why you weren’t hard. It wasn’t me, but it still made you uncomfortable. ” Axel whispered and then shook his head, finally looking up at Mick. “Why did you do it then? If you felt like this?”

 

“Because the alternative would be unacceptable.” Mick said and when Axel frowned he took a deep breath. “I’m too selfish to let you go. If that was what would make you stay with me-“

 

“But I don’t want that!” Axel yelled and tried to sit up, just to clutch at his shoulder. Mick was by his side in seconds, pushing him down softly. He wondered why the hell did _he_ feel it when the kid was hurt.

 

“I don’t want that, do you understand?!” The kid continued and Mick could understand. He knew others didn’t know what to think about people like him. Didn’t get that when he said he wasn’t interested, it was that. Mick wasn’t interested, it wasn’t that he wasn’t aroused enough. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the person. It wasn’t that he was abused as the kid.

 

Mick shook his head and pulled away from the kid, just to have Axel grab his hand. He frowned and looked down.

 

“Brat-“

 

“I don’t want an alternative where you’re getting hurt because of me.” Axel said, staring straight at Mick. “Or uncomfortable.” Axel continued when Mick opened his mouth. “I also don’t want an option where I am _not_ with you.”

 

Axel couldn’t have just said that. Mick was sure that he didn’t, because Axel was a freaking kid and he had no way to understand.

 

“Axel, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“I do.” Axel insisted and licked his lips. “I’m talking about being able to download more porn on the house computer, getting people to buy me lube and more paper towels on their weekly shopping trips and no one being able to bitch about it at all.”

 

Mick stared at the kid. He was at loss of words. Axel looked so determined, so sure of himself… Mick groaned and pulled the kid to his chest, hugging him firmly, wondering just when did he get so lucky. And what did he do to deserve it.

 

He could feel Axel’s hand clutching at his jacket, before the brat took a hard breath.

 

“Not that I don’t like it or something, but… shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder.”

 

Mick chuckled, putting the kid back to bed. “Sorry.” He said, his thumb running down Axel’s cheek gently.

 

Axel leaned into the touch and sighed.

 

“We’re going to be alright… right?” He asked, hesitant once more, and Mick took a deep breath and nodded.

 

“Yes, we are.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

They weren’t as okay as Axel would have hoped. Sure, it seemed that this thing between him and Mick seemed to settle. Axel didn’t ask for sex – and it wasn’t only because he was hurt, and Mick didn’t really leave his side. He never left him alone with anyone else either, but Axel shook off that part, because this was _Mick_. He tended to be a little bit crazy when he worried about someone. Axel still remembered that time when Snart got burnt by Mick’s gun on an accident and the guy didn’t say a word, just followed Cold everywhere like the big puppy that he was.

 

So yes. Their relationship was doing just fine. It was Axel’s arm that didn’t. It was on the second day (since he spent most of the first one sleeping) when Axel tried to sit up – using the fact that Mick went to piss, seriously, that guy was a mother hen – and his arm didn’t listen. Axel’s eyes widened and he looked down at it, willing his fingers to move, but nothing. He didn’t get that. His shoulder still hurt, Axel could feel the searing pain whenever he moved, but his _arm just didn’t move_. When Mick returned, he found Axel there, freaking out, his breaths being shallow and fast.

 

Some time later he was dragged into one of the hospitals, some guy owed Len a favor or something. Axel was pushed under an Xray and in the end it he came up with the answer of possible nerve trauma. The guy didn’t know anything else and when Len offered to take Axel to Snow, he bristled, huffing he’d rather die. And, no Cold, he was _not_ being overdramatic.

 

The guy rolled his eyes on them and told them that it would be best if they got him under better Xray machine in few days, because it was too soon to tell if the nerve damage was permanent or not. The nerves might be able to repair themselves and there was treatment and Axel pretty much stopped listening after that. He couldn’t move his arm. And it wasn’t sure if it was staying that way or not.

 

When they finally, finally got home, Axel let Mick help him get to his bed, then turned his head away from him. This was bad… What good was he there, if he couldn’t move one arm? He was no good as the Trickster anymore, he wouldn’t be able to help with the heists… And when Mick touched his neck, Axle pulled away yelling at the man to leave and get lost. Mick didn’t though. He sat down next to Axel, caught his functional hand and let Axel swear until his throat was dry, and he couldn’t talk anymore. Then Mick sighed and slipped one of his hands into Axel’s hair.

 

“It’s going to be okay.” He said quietly, and Axel whined and let Mick brush the tears that just continued to come away. But he couldn’t help it. He was going to lose everyone. Not only Mick, but Mardon and Glider and even Hartley, he was going to lose his whole family because of one stupid mistake and –

 

“Len’s not going to kick you out, brat.” Mick said and Axel wondered if he said any of that out loud. He had to, because last time he checked Mick didn’t have mind reading powers. “He’s cold, but he’s not a bastard. And you _are_ family.” The man continued, “And if Len cares about something, it’s that. Also, this wasn’t your fault.”

 

Only it did sound like Axel’s fault. He didn’t even know why but it was the fact that he didn’t have any powers, _nothing_ , and he even got hurt… Sure, Cold, Mick and Lisa didn’t have powers either. But there was something about the way they were, about the way they thought… something that Axel was not. Oh Axel knew he was brilliant as far as people that weren’t metas went…  but he wasn’t like those three. He wondered if he would be any help like this. If something really did happen… if he really wouldn’t get the movement in his arm back… Axel shook his head, not really willing to think about that. Those didn’t feel like happy thoughts at all and Axel couldn’t stand those at the moment.

  
So instead he took a deep breath and grinned at Mick.

 

“Aren’t we like supposed to live happily ever after, after confessing our undying love for each other?” He asked. Yes, this he could do. Pretend everything was okay. Maybe it even would be with enough time.

 

Mick rolled his eyes.

 

“What Disney thing did you watch this time?” He asked, but his hand was brushing Axel’s hair, so he took it as a win.

 

“I have no idea which was the last one, but I really, really wanted to watch Frozen? Can you even imagine how much fun I’d have with that? So many new Disney puns for Cold.” Axel said and watched as Mick rolled his eyes at him. AGAIN.

 

“I’ll bring the TV up.” The man said, standing and Axel cheered. Hell, not only would that mean freaking TV in his _own room_ , but it would also piss Hartley off so much… Axel really loved that freaking pyromaniac.

***

Things didn’t get that much better – Axel did get better at faking being okay, though. He was smiling and grinning when people were around, especially Mick because the guy didn’t deserve to have another shitload of Axel’s problems thrown his way. When he was alone at night – Cold got it into his head that it would be a good idea to stand watch, since Snow knew where their safe house was, and while he trusted Flash a bit, he didn’t trust Snow at all – and Mick had to go on the patrol, he let his worries free. He bit his lip, staring at his hand, trying, willing his fingers to move. They didn’t even twitch. It was _days_ and they didn’t even twitch and each time Axel tried he freaked out more and more.

 

He was walking around the house finally, since being alone felt like the world was closing in on him. It was a few more days that Axel realized it wasn’t such a great idea. The few first days, he didn’t mind the looks. He told himself that with enough time, they will pass. So he ignored Lisa stopping whatever she was doing to look at him worriedly, as if checking him over. Mardon would keep close to him, as if he was afraid Axel would just faint without any reason and Hartley wouldn’t even insult him.

 

Cold was the only one who would still snap at him for having his feet on the table in the kitchen and push them off if Axel pretended not to hear. There was also Mick, but Mick was always a bit overprotective, always watching out for Axel even though Axel didn’t notice it at first. But the point was, he didn’t mind those two. Those two behaved normally, not like Axel was some kind of fragile china, that you couldn’t even look at in bad way.

 

Then, one day he finally had enough. It was when he carried that stupid bowl with cereals to the couch, sat down and put the bowl into his lap as he reached for the remote. Only he didn’t really use his other hand to steady it, and the bowl fell to the ground with loud shattering sound. Axel frowned as he glanced down at the shards of ceramics on the ground, messed up with milk and rest of his food and he swore under his breath. He grabbed the paper towels from the table and crouched down, trying to clean as much as he could. Only to have Lisa come over and grasp his hand in hers.

 

“Axel… I’ll do that.” She said quietly.

 

Axel shook his head at that.

 

“Nah, I’m a klutz, it’s my fault. I’ll tidy it up.” He said, grinning, not really looking up. Lisa’s hand only tightened on Axel’s.

 

“Let go, Axel. We’ll do it.”

 

While Axel was thankful to her - he told himself he should be thankful, because she cared, he was also… so _mad._ It wasn’t like he couldn’t do anything with his arm like this! He was pretty sure he could clean up the fucks up after himself. He opened his mouth to argue, but then Mark was at his side in a second, pulling him up.

 

“You’re not hurt, are you?” And that was it. Axle pulled his arm out of Mark’s grip, glaring at him.

 

“Fuck you both!” He yelled and turned to the door, grabbing his normal jacket – or well, actually Mick’s but it was some time since Axel started wearing it – and marched out of the house. He could hear voices behind him, but he couldn’t care less.

 

This situation was sucky enough even without people _pitying_ him. He wasn’t asking for pity. He wasn’t even fan of pity and while he had more than enough of it in his life, he wasn’t used to the Rogues pitying him. He didn’t _want_ to get used to it either.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he was walking around, when it started to rain. It must’ve been some time though, because the sky seemed mostly clear when he left… Damn, Mick was going to worry. Axel was sure that the pyromaniac would follow him around like a puppy after this, not letting him out of his sight. And even though it was nice, to get all of Mick’s attention, Axel hated the _reason_ why he had that attention. It made him frown and choke on his breath. He couldn’t just go back. Not just yet, at least.

 

He looked around, before slipping into one of the restaurants, and sitting down in the booths. The restaurant – or well diner more like, was mostly empty, something that Axel was eternally thankful for. There was one guy in the corner and two more people by the counter, and that was it. Probably had something to do with the fact that it was still too soon for people to come around for meal.

 

“What will it be?” A waitress asked him and Axel blinked. Oh…

 

“I’m fine.” He shook his head, not looking at the woman. Maybe if he won’t pay attention to her she’ll leave him alone? It certainly worked in movies. Sure, if he didn’t just run out, he’d get his bombs or maybe _money_ , but since he didn’t think about any of those, he couldn’t get her attention somewhere else. Or order. Something was telling Axel that the waitress probably wouldn’t be too happy if he couldn’t pay for the drinks and he really wasn’t sure how great escaping from there would be with his arm being in the state it was in right then.

 

“You want to stay, you have to order, honey.” The woman continued and shrugged. “Boss’ orders.”

 

Axel sighed and stood up. Leaving was it. He was thankful he could get out of the rain for as long as he could at least, and the woman didn’t seem like she was being a bitch. Things just tended to suck for Axel lately.

 

“Come on.” A voice sounded from behind him and Axel blinked when a hand landed on his right –thank god – shoulder. But that didn’t stop him from tensing and his fingers curling into a fist on his side. “Get the kid some pancakes, Rosie.”

 

The woman – Rosie, lifted an eyebrow and shrugged.

 

“You paying for him, Pretty?” She asked and the guy behind Axel laughed.

 

“You know I do. Also pancakes for me and coffee and hot chocolate?” 

 

When the waitress nodded and left, the guy patted Axel’s shoulder.

  
“She’s not bad. She’s just too scared to lose this job, you know? She has a little girl she has to take care of.” The man said, stepping around Axel and okay. Axel could say he was pretty attractive. As tall as Axel, well, maybe a tiny bit taller. Short blond hair and trusting blue eyes. But there was something about that smile, wide and all teeth, something that reminded him of Mick.

  
The guy had to notice there was something wrong, because the smile disappeared next second and he frowned.

 

“Are you okay?” He asked, and Axel frowned.

 

“Why are you helping me?” He hissed. There was something in his gut telling him that this wasn’t a good idea. That hanging around with this guy wasn’t a good idea, but it was still raining outside and he’d have to walk all the way back. Inside the diner it was warm and dry and he was even offered free food.

 

The man lifted his hands up, in what Axel guessed was supposed to be a calming gesture. Which pissed him off a bit, because he wasn’t a small animal.

 

“I’m sorry. You just seemed like you needed someone to give you a hand.” Axel would actually bristle at that, but there was no way the guy knew what he was saying. So it wasn’t fair to him. Instead he bit his lip and rolled his eyes, sitting back down at his booth. The guy watched him for a moment, before joining him, a small smile back on his face.

 

They didn’t talk when the waitress came back, putting cups in front of them, saying she’ll be right back with their food. She obviously liked the guy, whoever that was, and he obviously visited a lot – to be so familiar with her.

 

“So, what shelter are you from?” The guy asked and Axel almost choked on the chocolate he was drinking. He coughed, hitting at his chest as he stared through teary eyes at the man.

 

“Shelter?”

 

The blondie shrugged and gave Axel, what he probably thought, was a supportive smile. Looked a bit dumb to Axel though.

 

“I know how things like that get. You’re in orphanage, suddenly you grow up and their rules say you have to get kicked out. It’s kind of hard to start anything without any real background and being alone in the whole world seems a bit overwhelming, at the beginning.” The guy said and Axel stared at him. There was something about his expression, though, because the guy quickly continued. “It’s not your fault. It could never be, things like that happen. Bad things happen to good people, that’s what I meant. So if I can buy you some food that would save you from going out there in the rain, then please let me do it.”

 

Axel took a deep breath. Another, and another one.

 

Did this guy really think he was a homeless person?! Was it Mick’s jacket being so big on Axel, or what?! … but Axel believed that being pitied for not having a roof over his head was better than being pitied because of an injury so he shrugged, not really agreeing with the psycho’s theory. Why were all the good looking people crazy?

 

“I don’t put out on the first date. Especially not when it comes to people that don’t even introduce themselves before buying me food.”

 

The guy blinked and groaned, closing his eyes for a moment before giving Axel a sheepish smile.

 

“That was rude of me, wasn’t it? So sorry. I’m Eddie. Eddie Thawne, nice to meet you.” He – Eddie said, reaching out, offering his hand to Axel.

 

There was something about the name… something that Axel thought should ring a bell at the back of his mind, but it didn’t so he grinned himself and shook the offered hand.

 

“Axel.” He wasn’t stupid enough to give the guy his whole name. While the police didn’t seem to know his identity yet – The Flash and his little Team being the only people, since he and Jesse managed to escape prison while the Flash was too busy trying to save that cop’s father. Axel’s idea of mixing the drink with something that would mess with people’s vision was a bit too good. Because once they felt that nice alcohol buzz under their skin, they wouldn’t be really able to recognize their faces so easily. There was a reason why Axel was fond of masks when he was out and he was so not risking that, duh.

 

But well… whoever this guy was, Axel’s first name wouldn’t do him much good without the last name as well. There were more than enough Axel’s living around, he was sure.

 

“Nice to meet you, Axel.” Eddie nodded again, then smiled widely at Rosie, the waitress, when she brought pancakes over.

 

Maybe she didn’t really hate Axel, and wasn’t even bothered by him, because the pancakes that she put in front of him had two times as many strawberries as Eddie’s did and there was a splash of chocolate added to it too.

 

Axel looked up and beamed at her, and the woman laughed before returning to her counter, talking to herself about unfortunate kids. Axel didn’t really listen to her, because one of his pancakes was already filling his mouth and he was moaning as chewed. This was freakishly good. Why didn’t they ever come to this place with the rest of the Rogues? Axel licked his lips to get all the remaining chocolate off and looked at Eddie. The man was smiling at him, eating his own pancakes and Axel grinned.

 

Oh well… he could be nice for pancakes. At least for once.

 

***

 

When they finished, Eddie offered to drive Axel to the closest shelter. He even said he had some friends there, so if Axel needed, he could put in a good word for him. He also mentioned that they could treat his injury as well. So the guy noticed there was something wrong with Axel’s arm, but he didn’t comment and for some reason… for some reason that made Axel feel a bit good.

 

Eddie didn’t push it, figuring out that if Axel wanted to, he would talk to him about it or something. But what really made it all so good was, that even though Eddie noticed, he didn’t offer to help Axel with the arm. He didn’t ask Axel if he needed help with cutting the pancakes, he didn’t ask if Axel needed any help with the chocolate when he was trying to scrub the last of it with the spoon and the damn cup kept moving. He sat there, patient, not really ignoring Axel, or pretending not to see what he was doing. He just didn’t do anything about it.

 

Sure, he did offer to help with the shelter thing. But it was just that – finding Axel a place to spend the night. Which was kind of cute, if a little retarded, because Axel at least _hoped_ he didn’t look homeless. He _did_ get that hair cut that Cold ordered him. That should count for something.

 

So when Eddie asked him whether there was anywhere he could drive him to, Axel shook his head, telling the man he’ll be just fine. After all, he was pretty sure Snart would have his head if he showed the safe house to _more_ people than they already did, and the rain stopped too. Eddie frowned, before getting a pen and paper, writing something down and giving it to Axel.

 

“If you ever need help… just call me, okay?” The guy asked and Axel rolled his eyes. Eddie huffed. “No, I mean it. Even if you think it sounds stupid or something. Or if you need to just talk, anything.”

  
Axel really ought to say no. He knew he should, because even if the time spent with Eddie wasn’t horrible, they didn’t really make a lot of friends in his kind of work. And Eddie didn’t seem like he was on their side of the law. Well, Axel wouldn’t guess on which side of the law the guy stood, but he didn’t look like a thief. Or well, not the one police was looking for, at least.

 

But he couldn’t bring himself to just throw the number away, so he put it into his pant’s pocket and grinned.

 

“I’ll think about it.” He said and rolled his eyes when Eddie smiled, wide and happy, like Axel telling him that maybe he won’t throw the paper away right now, was the biggest gift anyone could ever ask for. Which was so, _so_ stupid, but it still made Axel feel a bit… good. Like he did something that wasn’t too horrible, and maybe he’ll even get karma to be nice to him for the time being. Since he was being good to kind of crazy people and all that.

 

He waved to Eddie, before turning and walking down the street, keeping an eye on the blondie. It wouldn’t do for him to follow Axel, if he thought that not only was Axel homeless but he did drugs or something as well.

 

But the man didn’t seem to follow him, he was just standing there, watching Axel for a while, before he turned to his car and went the other way. Good. At least Axel won’t have to worry about Len yelling at him for that. Or well, not yelling. Snart didn’t yell. Sometimes he raised his voice, but it was all said in that quiet growl, one that was either seeping with ‘how much of an idiot can you be’ or ‘you got to be kidding me’. Though Axel was kind of happy that whenever Cold talked to him, he never had the ‘I’m so disappointed in you’ look or voice. Axel had enough of _that_ in his life already.

 

***

Axel was right. Snart didn’t yell. He sat there, glaring, asking him over and over where Axel was, with whom, if anyone followed him and if he was sure, plus bunch of other questions. Axel actually thought about getting his phone, recording his answers on it and just play them for Cold.

 

When the man asked _again_ , Axel groaned.

 

“Out, alone, they pissed me off, no, yes, one guy, no, just talked, no, he didn’t, no. _Yes_.” He said as he counted on his fingers. Those should be all the questions, if he wasn’t mistaken. And he obviously wasn’t, because Cold’s eyes narrowed at him.

 

“Don’t play smart with me, boy.”

 

“I’m not playing, I _am_ smart.” When Len gave him a _look_ , Axel chuckled. “Can I go to Mick now? I’m sure he’s going crazy by now.” He pointed out. Okay, it was more or less his wish, but hey, no one could blame him.

 

“You have no idea.” Snart muttered, just then the door slammed opened – it actually looked like it flew from its hinges and Axel winced at that, and pretty mad looking Heatwave stepped inside. Or well _more_ mad looking than usually. Which was something in Axel’s opinion, but he was too smart to say that out loud at the moment.

 

Mick glared, marching over to him. He pulled Axel up by the collar of his shirt and Axel winced.

 

“I’m still injured you know.” He tried, and Mick just glared harder.

 

“Maybe don’t run around without telling anyone where you are going if you are.” Mick hissed and Axel frowned.

 

“I wasn’t run-“ The hand in his shirt tightened and Axel bit his lip. “Okay… I was. But it wasn’t my fault!”

 

“It wasn’t?” Mick asked and Axel frowned. Yeah, it pretty much _wasn’t_ his fault! Why did no one see that?! “You fuck off alone, without a phone or any other way to contact us, are gone whole freaking day and you say it’s not your fault?!” Mick was yelling at the end of that and okay. Maybe it was a _tiny_ bit Axel’s fault. “What the hell did you think?! But you didn’t, that’s the problem isn’t it?! You didn’t give it one fucking thought how it would look to me!”

 

… Mick was right there, of course. Axel didn’t think about Mick at that moment. He didn’t think about leaving a note, or grabbing his phone, because hell, he didn’t even think about grabbing money. And he understood how Mick must’ve felt, when he returned with Snart from wherever they went shopping and checking new parts for their guns. Mick’s got hit during the last heist and he said something about repairing it, Axel wasn’t really paying attention since it was when he was watching one or other Disney movie and Len walked into his room, talking to Mick. No it wasn’t interesting then. Actually, it still wasn’t interesting. It wasn’t important either. What _was_ important was Mick holding him like that, his hand shaking just a tiny bit – from rage or fear, Axel didn’t know.

 

He took a deep breath and reached up, his fingers brushing at Mick’s knuckles.

 

“I’m sorry.” Axel said quietly. “I got pissed off. I should’ve left you a note, but I was so… gone at the moment, I really didn’t have one sane thought in my mind. I just needed to get out, because it feels like I’m getting smothered in here, when everyone is so… caring.” That was what was pissing off Axel so much. “My arm is fucked up, I know that, okay? And it’s not that I don’t care, because I do, I just don’t want to be reminded of it every second of my life!” He said and shook his head. “I’m already freaked out enough, I’m already afraid that I will be useless here. Them helping with every freaking thing? It feels like getting an official letter telling me I was right! Lisa is cleaning shit after me, Mardon would like to carry me in his arms, and I’m really just waiting for Hartley to ask me if I need help wiping my ass!”

 

Mick started at him for a while, before letting go of his shirt, and pulling him closer. Axel could feel how warm the guy was, when Mick pulled him into the hug, his big arms closing around Axel and it felt… calm. Finally his mind stopped yelling at him, and Axel turned his head a little, pressing his nose against Mick’s neck.

 

“Don’t do that ever again.” He warned. “You go somewhere, fine. But at least try to let me know.” The _so I wouldn’t have to worry_ was left unspoken, but it wasn’t like Axel didn’t know it was there. He could feel it in the way Mick’s frame trembled ever so lightly as he was pressed against Axel, one of his hands buried in Axel’s hair, keeping his head close too.

 

“I don’t care when it is, or what I’m currently doing, I want to know.”

 

For a second Axel imagined calling Mick in the middle of bank robbery, telling him that he was just going to hang out for a while, that he probably won’t be home when they return, but not to worry. But he had a feeling that Mick wouldn’t appreciate the funny picture at the moment so he nodded.

 

“Yes, sir!” He said instead and grinned when Mick huffed.

 

“You’re a goof.” Mick said to Axel and rolled his eyes. Axel beamed.

 

“Finally someone who noticed!” He said and beamed, and Mick shook his head.

 

“Come on. You’re going to get a shower, then dinner.” Axel didn’t protest when Mick’s hand slipped down Axel’s arm, grapping his fingers and pulling him towards the bathroom. As he stripped down, the paper with Eddie’s number lay forgotten in his pant’s pocket.

***

When Axel got out, Mick (probably Mick) already prepared new clothes for him, the fluffy sweatpants and one of Mick’s shirts. It was nice that the man remembered how Axel liked to just cuddle in those, the sleeves too long for his arms and overall the shirt was too big for his smaller-than-Mick frame, but there wasn’t anything nicer that Axel could imagine. The TV was in their room _again_ – personally, Axel thought it was Mick’s way of punishing Hartley and the rest for what happened sooner that day. Mick sat down in the middle of the bed, before pulling Axel to sit in between his legs, Axel’s back pressed against Mick’s chest. Mick waited until Axel settled down, before he pulled the blanket over them both and Axel giggled when he noticed the movie playing.

 

“Are we really watching ‘Finding Nemo’?” He asked and shook his head. Mick shrugged at that.

 

“Maybe you’ll learn something.”

 

Axel couldn’t decide if that was stupid or naïve, but who was he to mess Mick’s hopes? He snickered instead and cuddled to the man, his eyes trained on the screen.

 

“I thought this wasn’t a sugar daddy relationship. Though with my arm the way it is now… who knows, maybe I’ll be your kept man.” Axel grinned when Mick pushed at his head, before the man’s arm moved around Axel’s waist and pulled him closer. Mick really felt like there was fire burning just below that skin, like it could burn Axel if he got too close… Axel didn’t worry though. This was Mick. Mick would never hurt him.

 

“We’re visiting that Snow doctor tomorrow.” Mick said, just when Axel was almost falling asleep and he blinked, leaning his head back a bit to look at the man.

 

“For the arm?” He asked and watched as Mick’s eyes turned to him, just looking. And it always made Axel’s stomach jump and flutter with so much attention that Mick was giving him, just him… it made Axel feel like he was enough. As if for Mick, he was everything the man needed.

 

Mick leaned down just then, pressing his lips against Axel’s softly, before pulling away.

 

“Yes, for the arm.”

 

***

Cold tagged along. Of course he did, being the paranoid bastard that he was and Axel wasn’t complaining too much about it either. He didn’t really _like_ the idea of not meeting Snow and Flash at neutral ground, but instead over at their place, STAR Labs or wherever. It didn’t feel fair. They had all kind of advantages there, it was _their_ playground.

 

Axel was sure that not even Snart was too happy about it all, but Flash argued that it was the smart choice, since Snow had the Xray machine there, plus could run all other kinds of tests, if they were needed – and just when the hell did Cold get Flash’s phone number?! Now Axel will need to steal the phone from him and look at all the messages they were sending each other so he would be able to laugh about it later. Geez, didn’t Cold see how much work he was giving Axel right there?

 

… maybe Axel will go ahead and set ‘ _I won’t say I’m in love_ ’ as Snart’s ringtone for Flash. Snart wasn’t fooling anyone. They all knew how Cold had one plan for the heist, and then at least fifty on how to deal with Flash if he’d show up. Axel’s plan would be kicking Len and Flash in a van until they got the money. That could get both of them busy enough to leave them alone, though he wasn’t too fond of sharing it out loud. Especially not, since Snart was always around that Cold gun lately.

 

Some time later, Axel found standing in the middle of the room with Mick and Len on each side of him, and he really, really tried not to feel like damned damsel in distress. Or a kid needing bodyguards or something, with part of the Team Flash standing opposite them, eyeing them with as much trust as Axel felt for them.

 

“Are we really acting out the whole Slytherins vs Gryffindors scene?” Axel asked and rolled his eyes, wondering just how long it should take for someone to get results.

 

The guy – Cisco, Axel thought, going by Lisa’s and Hartley’s descriptions, rolled his eyes.

 

“You’d totally be the Slytherins.”

 

Axel shrugged.

 

“Yeah, well, you’d be the Weasleys.” How were they even paying for the place? Surely there were taxes or something.

 

“Is that supposed to be bad?” Cisco asked, his arms crossing in front of his chest and Axel rolled his eyes.

 

“It just means you’re broke? Hell, I’ve seen some of the _newer_ screens being sold on the heists last week. This place isn’t even worth robbing.” Axel huffed. Seriously, they wouldn’t even be able to use the knowledge of going there, before that place was cheap. Like they could steal all those machines somewhere else. But maybe, they could go look around and find more special guns, that wouldn’t be easy to get by.

 

“You’re too cocky for someone who named himself.” Cisco glared and Axel grinned.

 

“Tricked ya~.” He sing-songed.

 

“If the kids are just about finished,” Cold drawled, leaning his head to the side to glance at Flash and Axel used the moment to stick out his tongue at him, “maybe you could call the dear doctor. She seems to be quite finished by now.”

 

Though Flash didn’t need to, because Snow was already walking over to them, clipped papers in her hands and Axel sighed. Oh well. There it went.

 

“There is damage to the bone and … some nerves.” She said, glancing at them nervously and Axel closed his eyes. Fucking great.

 

“What does that mean?” Mick asked and Axel frowned, sighing before Snow could open her mouth.

 

“Nerve damage means I might not be able to use that shoulder at all. Though there are still surgeries, I guess.” And it was pissing Axel off so much, because it didn’t change a _thing_. They didn’t even need to come along for that.

 

“Well, we can perform the surgeries right here.”

 

“They probably will be _less_ successful than the first one.” Axel huffed and watched the doctor wince.

  
“Well…that’s probable, but we can still try and-“

 

“No.” Axel shook his head and he could feel Mick and Len turn to look at him.

 

“What do you mean ‘no’?” Mick asked and Axel frowned, before turning to Snow, who was looking at him, a bit confused.

 

“I’m not having surgeries.” Axel huffed and Mick narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“Axel, if the surgery-“

 

“It might not help at all!” Axel said, his eyes slipping to Mick. “The bullet is out – there are obviously no fragments of it in the wound tearing it more. I don’t think it will be a big help right now.”

 

Snow bit her lip.

  
“I’m still for the surgery.” She said and then took a deep breath. “But if you don’t want that, let me at least give you some antibiotics – and there is also physical therapy and rehabilitation.” She said hesitantly. “We can do it here, actually.” She added quickly when Axel opened his mouth. “We can teach you. Until you learn to do it on your own. Or with help.” Her gaze moved to Mick at that and Axel wondered if they were that obvious. But it was just Mick’s size probably, the fact that he wouldn’t be really touchy when Axel would yell and curse. He was sure that was going to happen, with how horrible rehabilitation could be.

 

“Fine.” Cold drawled and Axel stared at him. What the hell?!

 

“Don’t I get any say in this?!” He asked and Snart shrugged.

 

“Not if you’re going to fight something that might actually help you in long run.” Axel thought it was more like he wanted to spend time with fucking Flash, if the way those two had an eye conversation was any hint, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want that TV taken from him.

 

“Good.” Snow said and offered Axel a small bottle. “Here you go. I think we should make a schedule. Maybe two times a week.”

 

Oh Axel wasn’t happy about that.

 

“I should waste my time here two times a week?!”

 

“Hey!” Cisco yelped. “It’s not like you guys are such a win to be around, you know.”

 

Okay, that was it. Next time Axel comes around he was _so_ messing up with this place. Hiding small ‘gifts’ for these people here, and then hacking into their camera system and laughing his head off at home.

 

Flash probably recognized his expression as mad, because he stepped up.

 

“Actually, I know a guy that might help you.”

 

“I hate doctors.” Axel huffed and smirked when Snow’s eyes widened and she crossed her arms in front of her chest in answer.

 

Flash hesitated for a moment, giving a quick look to Snart before sighing.

 

“He is not… a doctor. But he had someone who got hurt and he had to go through something similar with them, so he knows how to do this stuff. You could maybe even meet at his place, I’d have to ask him, but… he’s a good guy. I think he’d be happy to help.”

 

… if it was choosing between spending time in SUCK labs and meeting some random ‘good guy’… Maybe Axel would be able to mess with guy’s head. That could be fun at least and Axel huffed, before shrugging.

 

“ _Fine._ ” At least he won’t feel sick to his stomach just from the _smell_ of the hospital. Not like there was much of it right here, but it was the thought that counted.

 

Flash beamed at him at that, then turned to his team, telling them something. Axel really didn’t listen to that, because Snart looked from Flash to him and gave Axel a small nod, something very similar to a smile playing on his lips.

 

… talk about scary. 

In the end they agreed that Flash would run by them with the guy’s answer the next day and Axel did his best to ignore the way that Flash and Snart kept close as they were leaving. It was one thing to believe that Cold was having really inappropriate sexual relationship with The Flash, and it was another to think there were feelings involved. Axel might need a therapist for that.

 

He didn’t say anything though, actually he kept more quiet than before as they got into the car, because his shoulder throbbed. It started hurting already at the Labs, and Axel didn’t want to worry Mick.

 

But as they were driving home, the pain started to get worse and worse. Axel pressed his face against the cool glass of the window, closing his eyes. That was something he didn’t get. Why the hell did his shoulder hurt and burn when he couldn’t feel anything else?! How was that even fair? If his arms felt dead, then it could suck the pain ass well. Hell, it was probably all the probing that Snow did.

 

Axel didn’t say a word as he slipped out of the car and walked upstairs to his room, kicking his shoes off and slipping under the covers. He curled up on his side – the right one, he didn’t think he’d be able to survive _more_ pressure on the shoulder – when he felt a cold glass pressed against his forehead.

 

He opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder at Mick.

 

“What?”

 

“Pain meds and antibiotics.” Mick offered, lifting his hand with pills also.

 

And Axel felt like he should say that he was okay, that Mick was just worrying. But he really was in pain, so he sat up and reached for the pills, popping them into his mouth, before taking the glass of water. 

 

“Thank you.” He sighed when Mick took the glass for him and settled back down. The bed dipped on one side as Mick sat down next to Axel, running his fingers through Axel’s hair. The touch was soft and warm and Axel leaned into it with closed eyes.

  
“You’re going to be okay, kid. I promise.” Mick sighed, the movement of his hand never stopping. “You need to hurry up with it too. I bought the new kinect Star Wars game for you, either get better or I’m giving it to Rathaway.”

 

And wait… what?

  
“Bought?” Axel asked as he leaned his head back to look at Mick, who was leaning against the headboard.

 

“Mhm.” Mick smirked. “Got the receipt and everything.”

 

And for some reason, that was one of the sweetest things anyone ever did for Axel. The thought of Mick _buying_ him a game, because Axel mentioned he wanted it at some point, that felt… that felt like a gesture.

 

“You better be ready for some epic cuddling when I _can_ move my arm.” Axel threatened and Mick laughed. And hearing that, Axel decided that he will try. He might not be fan of surgery, not when it wasn’t clear what exactly was wrong with those nerves, but he was going to do his best when it came to the rehabilitation.

 

***

Flash _did_ stop by as promised. He told them that the guy agreed to meet with them, and that Flash will be sticking around as well. Axel didn’t really expect anything else – the guy seemed to be a friend of Flash’s and of course Flash would be worried to leave him around criminals. Even though there was the ‘not killing’ rule.

 

Flash hung out around them until they left – it was actually funny how all of the Rogues minus Mick and Snart grouped at one side of the house, glaring at the guy. Though yeah, Lisa didn’t glare, she mostly smiled widely at him and made very suggestive comments about Cisco and Caitlin.

 

The speedster even offered to carry them over to the guy’s place, saying something along the lines of being there _in a flash_ , which okay, Axel finally understood why would Flash and Cold maybe fall in a relationship. It must be pretty hard to find someone that not only accepts idiotic puns, but also comes up with their own.

 

Mick refused though and said they were going to take the car, Flash, no discussion there – Axel was really thankful for that, actually. If his shoulder was going to hurt just half as much as the day before after Snow, Axel would really appreciate being able to curl up somewhere on the way home and pretend he didn’t even exist. It was just another reason why he loved the man more. It was kind of funny when all the way back, he didn’t even realize the man could be so considerate.

 

Even more so, since he glared at Snart and said that if they were having The Flash in their car, _Axel_ was the one riding shotgun with him and Cold could sit in the back with Flash. And sure, Cold grumbled about that, but Flash was positively beaming, if looking a bit awkward. Axel made sure not to look at the mirror through the whole ride. He had enough things to be scarred about, thank you very much.

 

The house they stopped in front of (after they drove some time back, because The Flash somehow didn’t notice they missed the turn) wasn’t too big. It still looked well cared of, and Axel got out, looking around. Hell, even the garden was kind of pretty. Not like theirs, that looked like there were possibly some carnivorous flowers hiding in the jungle. It was enough of a feat to make a way over to the door.

 

Not there though. For a moment Axel felt the need to kick of his shoes and go run over that grass barefoot, but maybe not in front of Mick and Snart – or well, maybe not right _then._ The Flash grinned at them as he knocked on the door and if Axel wouldn’t be too busy looking around – was there a water pond?! – he’d have his eyeballs fall out of his sockets right that second. As it was, that only happened after the familiar voice.

 

“Hey, Flash. Did you bring th- Axel?”

  
Axel blinked and his head snapped around staring.

 

“Eddie?” He asked, because what the hell… what were the chances.

 

The Flash blinked.

 

“Uhm… do you guys know each other?” He asked, looking between Axel and Eddie and Axel shrugged.

 

“We met? Eddie paid for my breakfast the other day.” Going by the quiet growl and the way Mick stepped closer to Axel at that, the man probably knew what other day Axel meant. They still didn’t really talk about it, and right then, Axel didn’t even want to.

 

But Eddie didn’t seem to mind Mick. His face brightened in a second and he smiled wide at that, opening the door all the way and stepping back.

 

“Yes. Come on in, I can offer you something to drink. Also, I’m pretty sure there should be food somewhere around if you’d want something.” He was still smiling and Axel felt a bit bad. Did Flash tell Eddie they were criminals? He ought to, why else would he come over dressed as Flash? Unless Eddie didn’t know Flash’s identity either and that way he was protecting himself, but… how did those two even know each other!?

 

It was all just confusing and making Axel’s head hurt, so he shook his head and grinned at Eddie. He _was_ a good guy, Axel could agree with that.

 

“Thanks. But we ate back home.” He said and smiled. “Also I’m here for the torture, I don’t think I want to subconsciously put it together with something nice.” He offered and it was nice to hear Eddie laugh at that.

 

“Oh trust me the ‘torture’ will be so painful, that nothing nice could even it out.” He said and shrugged at Axel. “I’d bake you some cookies to prove that, but I’d probably end up burning my own kitchen.” He said sheepishly and Axel chuckled at that, then looked at Mick when his hand landed on Axel’s good shoulder.

 

“We should start with the exercise.” The man grumbled and Axel sighed. True. Axel wasn’t really looking forward to that, but pushing it away wouldn’t help at all.

 

It looked like that was the first time that Eddie realized there was someone else in the room with them also, because he glanced at Mick, then Len before nodding. There was something different in his eyes though, when he glanced for the tiniest second at Axel, and his eyes moved back to those two.

 

“Sure. One of you is going to learn right? The… Flash said something like that.”

 

Mick stepped forward, his chest pressing against Axel’s back and he nodded.

 

“That’d be me.” He half growled and Axel leaned his head back, lifting an eyebrow at Mick. The man didn’t look at him though, his eyes not moving from Eddie and Axel groaned. If there was a God, he wouldn’t allow Mick to fight with Eddie. Axel might even start to pray for that.

 

“Good.” Eddie nodded, before turning to Flash. “There are drinks on the counter. We’ll take this to the next room.” He said, and walked to the door, holding it opened for Axel and Mick.

 

Axel sighed. That was going to be torture.

***

It was more than a torture. It was _the_ torture, the worst of all tortures. Because Axel couldn’t move the freaking arm on his own free will, it didn’t even budge. And before he could tear up from frustration, Eddie was on his side, full of supportive smiles as he caught Axel’s hand in his own, curling Axel’s finger with his around the small ball that sat in Axel’s palm, before bending Axel’s arm at the elbow and up to his shoulder.

 

“It’s okay.” He’d said. “These things take time. We’re not really doing this with the hope that you’re going to move your arm right this exercise. Nerves need time to mend. If the are

stretched they need time to get back to normal and after that you’ll start to get the feel in your fingers slowly.” The smiles would be still as wide as open as the day before and Axel would be so frustrated with it all, because why the hell would they do it then?!

 

“Your arm needs to move though,” and Eddie would say more, something along the lines of the arm weakening and then re-learning the motions would be that much harder, but Axel didn’t really listen. Eddie was lifting his arm above his shoulder and that hurt, hurt, _hurt_ and he yelped out, his right hand clutching at his shoulder.

 

Then one of Eddie’s hands suddenly disappeared and when Axel opened his eyes he saw Mick standing oh so close, his hand squeezing Eddie’s wrist and glaring.

  
“You’re hurting him.” He hissed and Eddie glared.

 

“Of course it’s going to hurt him, you think this is easy?” Eddie asked and Axel was surprised he didn’t back off. A lot of people pissed themselves and ran when they were on the receiving end of Heatwave’s glare. There was even a time when Axel counted, but that whole deal got boring somewhere around seven hundred eighty two or three. Axel wasn’t even sure anymore.

 

“ _You_ ’re going to have to do that too. So either move to the side and watch, or go outside and send Snart in. If you don’t want to always come over, one of you will have to learn.”

 

Oh… and if Eddie knew Len’s name, that meant that he had to know what their job was, too. And that, for some reason didn’t sit that well with Axel. It was probably stupid and nothing, but it was buzzing in his mind, making even his head hurt and he swallowed.

 

“Can we count today as finished by now?” He asked and watched how both, Eddie’s and Mick’s eyes snapped to him. Now that was a weird feeling. “My shoulder hurts. I don’t think I’ll be much good now and we’ve been at this for over an hour now. People will worry.” And worried Rogues were not a nice thing. Especially if one of those Rogues was Lisa, who could either manipulate anyone to make a search party, or just force them to. The woman was freaking scary most of the time.

 

Mick let go of Eddie and he nodded.

  
“Let’s go.” He told Axel and Axel stood up from the chair, giving a quick glance to Eddie. Who looked a bit worried, but not really like he wanted to disagree and Axel was a bit happy about that.

 

“Okay.” The man sighed, before smiling again. How did that even work? Axel wasn’t sure if he ever knew anyone that smiled as much as Eddie did. Or as… happy and open as the guy. “We’ll meet again in a few days?” He asked and Axel nodded – anything to get out of there at that moment, before stepping out of the room – just to find Snart and Flash freaking _kissing_. Hell, not even kissing, but sucking each other’s faces off and really?

 

“If this is some kind of hate sex, could you guys at least wait until I’m not in the same house as you? Please?” Axel asked and shook his head. “I might get jealous of that hand in Flash’s pants – wait, nope, not at all, it’s just really, really weird to think about Snart as sexual being.”

 

Cold’s eyes narrowed at him – the hand lifted from pressing against Flash’s crotch at least, Flash’s who looked torn between running out of the house and just hiding his face in something – and he sneered.

 

“You might want to shut up?”

Axel lifted an eyebrow and snickered. Well at least some things didn’t change. Though he had the feeling the good mood won’t last him for long. Not with the throbbing in his shoulder at least and he was about to snap something back at Snart, when Mick stepped forward.

 

“We’re going home, Len. You’re free to invite your boy toy as long as you use a gag at least.” The man grumbled and Axel grinned.

 

“Hartley has six different kinds. You can even pick.” Though the piper might want to join in, and Axel had no idea how those two would feel about that. But the two weirded out stares he got in exchange were too funny. Not even Snart’s glare or the pain could destroy that little moment.

 

***

The drive home wasn’t too long – Axel personally thought it was because they didn’t have  the Flash around to get them lost – oh sorry, _navigate_ them and the evening wasn’t too different from the day before.

 

Axel went to bed, not willing to listen to Cold informing some of the Rogues they were out that evening, stalking – even though Snart used the word ‘observe’ one of the banks. Mick came up after him, carrying some painkillers along with antibiotics and dinner and they watched another movie together. Mick probably noticed that halfway in, Axel blanked out several times and every now and then asked what happened in the movie, or was just confused with the current scene, he was so distracted, that he yelled for Hartley to ‘get his fucking ass up in Axel’s room’ and got him to change the DVD to Frozen.

 

Axel didn’t say anything, but he felt a bit better. It was easier to focus on something he already saw once. It was a bit surprising when Hartley didn’t leave though, but instead sat down in front of Axel’s bed, his back pressed against it and watching with them. Axel didn’t comment on that, just pushed one of the pillows closer to Hartley – he knew how sucky the wood of the bed frame could be, he sat there enough times putting pieces of bombs together – then cuddled closer to Mick.

 

Some time later, Lisa slipped into the room.

 

“Did you see Hartley? That little bastard-“ But Mick send her a glare and she rolled her eyes. “Seriously, I don’t care what stupidity you’re watchin- is that Frozen?” She asked then grinned, sitting on the ground next to Hartley and stealing his pillow.

 

“Hey!”

 

“I’m the older one, I deserve it more.” Lisa snapped at him, then turned to the screen grinning and singing along with the songs. She was really horrible at it too, Axel had a moment or two when he pressed his ear against Mick’s chest to try and muffle the sound at least a bit. It didn’t help at all and a few moments after that Len came up to complain about people finding the safe house unless Lisa will stop pretending to be a cat that got its tail stuck in the door. Lisa yelped and threw her – Hartley’s- pillow at Snart. She missed and Cold just lifted an eyebrow at her.

 

Axel chuckled and grinned, because this whole deal? The whole horribly singing Lisa, bitching Hartley, Len standing in the doorway and pretending not to watch the movie and Mick holding him in his arms… this felt like family. And maybe things won’t be as bad as Axel thought.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Axel didn’t need to fully wake up to feel how hot it was there. Which was weird, because one of the reasons he liked his room was that it was always nice cool. He groaned kicking his leg out, trying to get the blanket off of him – and then his eyes snapped open when he heard a _groan_. What the hell…

 

He looked around – Mick wasn’t in the bed anymore, and Axel was half lying on top of Hartley, Lisa was lying on his other side and Mark was curled up at the end of the bed. Axel had no idea how he even _fit_ there, because Mark wasn’t exactly small. And he was also very well awake by then, glaring at Axel.

 

He grinned and shrugged, mouthing sorry as he tried to get out of the bed Which could be considered a pretty hard task too, because Lisa kept cuddling to his chest, and oh god were those boobs? Cold would kill him if he ever found out. Axel would lose his dick if he knew that Axel had first back experience with those things on Lisa’s chest. If Axel ever imagined what a tumor on his back would feel like, it was that.

 

Mardon was chuckling at the expression on Axel’s face and Axel glared. Mardon was an asshole and he deserved to sleep on the _ground_ , not Axel’s nice and comfy bed. But the guy smiled at him (and it was still a bit weird to see the guy smile, because he didn’t use to do that all the way back) and offered Axel a hand. He was also pretty strong, because he pulled Axel out of the bed, one hand on Axel’s arm steadying him, before  Mark turned and walked out of the room. Axel blinked after him, before looking back at the bed, where Lisa and Hartley lay, still deeply asleep. Then devilish grin slipped on his face as he took a deep breath.

 

“Dibs on the bathroom!” He yelled as loudly as he could, before running down the hall and slamming the door, locking him behind the door when he heard Lisa and Hartley jumping out of the bed and racing over.

 

“Hey! Not fair!”

 

“Get the hell out, Axel! You’re gonna use all of the warm water _again!_ ”

 

“Yeah! I need to shower, too!”

 

“Shut up, Rathaway, that’s not a problem for _you_ , you can’t get any smaller, but I can’t wash my hair in cold water! _Lenny!_ ”

 

Axel could hear Cold groaning and swearing and he slid down the door, he was laughing so hard.

 

“… you guys remember there is second bathroom downstairs, right?” Axel was sure that was Bivollo’s voice. Hah, the man was always smart. The desperate hitting on the bathroom door stopped for just few seconds before there was loud thud and someone running down the stairs.

 

“Fuck you, Snart!”

 

“That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

 

“Uh…”

 

Axel didn’t remember when was the last time he laughed so hard that he cried.

***

It was good that Axel laughed when he could. The pain in his arm slowly crept back on him in the shower – shower that was very frustrating, because after few minutes of trying, Axel realized that he wouldn’t be able to wash his hair on his own.

 

After another twenty minutes or so of trying anyway, he figured out it would be pretty much impossible and ended up asking Mick for help. And asking for help felt a bit weird. Not that Axel didn’t ask for help before. He did. It just felt a bit unsettling to stand naked in front of Mick while the guy washed his hair. Axel was just human and Mick’s hands in his hair felt so wonderful, especially since he pulled at them on accident every now and then. But Axel _really_ didn’t want to get hard in the shower, while Mick was standing so close to him, because he already told the guy that he didn’t need sex from their relationship. Getting hard right then might’ve look a bit bad for Axel. Like maybe he was going back on his word. It wasn’t that he didn’t want sex – hell, Axel still thought that sex itself felt good, but he didn’t want Mick to feel bad about it all.

 

Especially since the man opened up to him and explained it all. Which, Axel was sure, didn’t happen often. He didn’t want to break Mick’s trust.

 

Or worse, he didn’t want Mick to pity him, or think he had to sacrifice parts of himself to be in the relationship. He didn’t want Mick to get it in his head that if Axel got hard he’d have to get him off or something.

 

… but god even imagining Mick’s hands on him, almost made Axel groan. Fuck he didn’t even rub one ever since he got shot at.

 

Axel pulled away from Mick, stepping closer to the wall to try and hide any signs of the beginnings of his hard-on. Which were there, Axel could almost _feel_ his dick getting stone hard, just _thinking_ about stuff.

 

“I’ll manage now.” He said, sending a quick grin over his shoulder at Mick. “It’s just pushing my head under the water, I’ll ace that.” Very cold water, if Axel will have any say in that though.

 

Mick was watching him, eyes narrowing slightly as if wanting to figure Axel out, and Axel forced himself not to swallow guiltily. In the end the man nodded, reaching around Axel, his shampooed warm hands sliding over Axel’s arms, and making him shiver, to get to the water and rinsing the shampoo off of them. Axel shivered at that and bit his lip, scrunching his eyes closed. He so won’t get hard from that. He won’t. Then Mick squeezed the back of Axel’s neck, before turning around and leaving.

  
Axel waited until he heard the door click shut behind Mick, before sliding down to his knees. Oh fuck.

 

And even though Axel did tell himself he wouldn’t get hard, he couldn’t stop his hand from slipping down over his stomach and to his erection, grasping it tightly, rubbing and groaning, breathing hard.

 

He wondered if it was bad that he thought about Mick – about his shoulders and hugs and how warm and hard he felt pressed up against Axel when they were cuddling as he licked his lips. He wondered if it was wrong that he thought about Mick’s lips pressed against his own, how hot and desperate they could make him feel. How the breath would stuck in his chest if Mick glanced at him just right.

 

As Axel glanced down at his hand, now marked with the warmth of his desire, he wondered how disappointed and betrayed Mick would feel if he knew.

 

But hey, it was still better than thinking about Eddie while masturbating, right? At least he wasn’t cheating on Mick. And why the hell did he just pull Eddie into the whole equation?

 

… maybe because Eddie wasn’t bad looking. Sure, Axel didn’t see him naked or anything, but the guy was so… _pretty_ when he was smiling. There really wasn’t a better word for that, Axel thought, leaning his head back under the spray of water, letting it wash away the shampoo along with his come.

 

Yeah, Eddie seemed always happy and so positive… He was so different from what Axel was used to - he wouldn’t probably survive around the Rogues a day. He’d be all freaked out if he ever saw how Axel and Hartley yelled, spat and swore at each other, each defending his own game or fandom or pairing.

 

Hell, Lisa would probably _eat_ him. Eddie _so_ wouldn’t know how to behave around her, and she would use that to her advantage, of course. Not that Axel would blame her. Though Lisa seemed more than taken with Cisco, which ended up in several fights with Hartley, which Axel always told himself, he’d record and put on youtube. He’d probably gain over millions views too, because watching that weird sibling thing those two shared was just a comedy.

 

Axel snickered and stood up, pushing all of those thoughts away and concentrated on drying himself out and slipping into his pants. He eyed the tank top he chose, but he probably wouldn’t be able to put it on without some help, so he threw it over his right shoulder and stepped out. Someone left his fluffy slippers in front of the door and Axel grinned, slipping his feet into them, before walking down the stairs and into the kitchen.

 

He snickered when he noticed Cold behind the stove.

 

“Are there any breakfast related ice jokes?” He asked and Len glared.

 

“Not if you want to eat, no.” And were those eggs? Oh Axel would love to have some eggs.

 

“I’d thought you do something like … cold spread.” The way Cold narrowed his eyes at Axel made him grin. “Hey! I’m hurt I need a lot of food to get better!”

 

“You also need to shut your mouth if you don’t want me to cripple you even more.”

 

“That’s albeist.” Axel muttered, then snickered and jumped to the side when Cold threw the wooden spoon at him.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to get off that fucking tumblr thing?!”

“What are you two doing?” Mick’s voice came from the door and Axel grinned, before running over to him and pretending to hide behind his back.

 

“Mick, help me! Snart’s trying to hurt me!” Axel didn’t see, but he could just imagine Mick rolling his eyes. He was sure the expression on Len’s face might be pretty funny too.

 

“What else is new?”

 

“Miiiiick!”

 

The whining earned Axel a glare for Len. But it wasn’t his usual _freezing_ glare, it was the glare of a person that was torn between tired and unwillingly amused. Axel kind of liked that glare. He was freaking proud of it too, because as far as he knew there weren’t that many people that could make Cold amused… and still live.

 

“Get lost before I really decide that you’re not having any breakfast _at all_.” Cold sneered, turning back to the stove and Axel crept closer to the door before grinning.

 

“Sure thing, mom!”

 

“I hear you’re not getting any food for a _week_ , Walker.” Axel laughed at that, because it was said so calmly… And Cold wouldn’t leave him without food.

 

… Mick wouldn’t leave him without food so he was going to be just okay. He was pretty sure.

***

Cold _tried_ to leave Axel without food, but Axel had a knight in flaming armor who just shared his eggs like the wonderful human being he was – after Axel whined in his ear for five minutes, but it was the results that counted.

 

One of the results were him and Mick on the couch, Mick sitting with Axel’s head in his lap, watching the bad reality shows on the TV – supposedly one of the Rogues got pissed by not being allowed to disturb Axel to watch TV in his room so they went out of their way to steal a new one. Axel’s bet was still on Hartley, though the boy pretended that he couldn’t care less about Axel wants and needs. And it all felt so normal, like they were in the _before_ and not in the _after_ , that Axel was half-asleep by the time the next episode rolled.

 

Maybe that was why his brain didn’t catch on Mick’s words right away. But when it did, Axel turned to stare up at Mick.

 

“What?” He asked, because okay, maybe he just blanked out and imagined something.

 

“What do you think about that blonde guy? ‘Eddie’ was the name?” There was something in Mick’s voice and the way that he wasn’t looking at Axel, instead his eyes were firmly focused on the TV and Axel really doubted Mick was interested in ‘The Tiddy Bear – Just snap it on! Slide it where it relieves the pressure and drive away!’

 

“…are you jealous?” He asked, and Mick’s eyes snapped to him and darkened. For some weird reason that made something warm and fuzzy fill Axel’s chest, because he wondered sometimes, if Mick was getting what he wanted from their relationship. Axel still wasn’t sure, but Mick being at least a tiny bit jealous meant that Mick wanted what they had, whatever that was. And Axel could live with that.

 

“He’s an okay guy.” Axel said, shrugging with his good shoulder. “He seems to care, you know? Like he didn’t have any idea who I was, but I looked like I needed help and he gave it without wanting something in return or telling me I ‘owed’ him.” That was a change from what he normally saw. Eddie really looked like he didn’t care who Axel was. He didn’t care if Axel could ever pay him back, or if he was wanted by the cops or if he had some special powers or something. Axel was pretty sure Eddie saw him as a kid who was lost and he did what he thought was the best. Which was cute, of course, but he couldn’t tell that to Mick, could he?

 

Mick was quiet for a moment, a moment which made Axel worry. Because what if Mick understood it the wrong way? But then the guy took a deep breath.

 

“Are you satisfied in this relationship?” The question was asked through gritted teeth and Axel felt his heart skip. Okay, that was something big. Mick didn’t just _talk_ about his feelings – unless it was expressing his open-mindness when it came to kicking ass or fire. Neither was part of that discussion though, so Axel frowned and sat up on his knees, frowning at Mick.

 

“Yes.” He said firmly and waited until Mick looked at him. “I wouldn’t be with you if I wasn’t.” Axel held his breath, willing Mick to understand. He wasn’t how to explain. He knew that Mick wouldn’t be too happy if Axel went out of his way, composing songs and sonnets for the big guy, but Axel hoped that his feelings were pretty clear, at least.

 

“You’re not getting any sex from this thing.” Mick pointed out and Axel groaned, before he took a deep breath.

 

“Yeah, I noticed.” He said and shook his head. “Not important.” Mick just gave him _the look_ and Axel sighed. So maybe Mick wasn’t the only one in that relationship having hard time explaining feelings. Though with Axel’s cuddling, he’d thought he was pretty obvious. Well, maybe not.

 

“Okay, it matters. But it doesn’t matter _that_ much. I can still watch porn and rub one off, so it’s not important.”

 

“So you don’t want it?” Mick asked and something in Axel’s mind yelled danger as the big guy shrugged. “Don’t you want to feel the slide of someone else’s body as they are rubbing against you? Someone’s hand enveloping both – yours and their dick as you get off? Someone sucking you off while playing with your ass? Someone sliding into you and taking you? You fucking someone else? Feeling the warm muscles tightening around you as you lose control in the heat?”

 

… fuck. Mick wasn’t making it any easier. Axel looked down, trying to calm his breathing at least a little as he forced a laugh out.

 

“Are you even supposed to talk about these things?” He asked as his hand curled up into a fist, his heart thumping in his chest.. “How do you know about them, since you don’t care about the sex at all?”

 

“I watch porn. It’s just the thought of someone else touching me like that doesn’t work for me.” Mick said. “And that wasn’t an answer to my question.”

 

"No." Axel said and maybe it was too quick or too quiet, because there was Mick's hand under his chin lifting it up. And that wasn't going to help the situation at all, because Axel felt lost already. He could almost feel panic settling in his chest as he tried to keep the easy smile on his lips. He never lied to Mick. He didn't want to start now. When Mick didn't say anything, waiting for Axel to meet his gaze Axel did, his breath stuck in his throat.

 

“The truth, Axel.”

 

“Why does it matter?!” Axel groaned and moved to pull his chin away from Mick’s warm fingers, but the man slipped his hand behind Axel’s neck, grasping it firmly. He pressed his forehead against Axel’s, breathing deeply as if trying to coax Axel to mimic him and that action itself kept Axel more in place than any words Mick could say.

 

“It does. You don’t want me sacrificing myself in this relationship. I don’t want you to do that yourself either.” Mick whispered, the breath hot on Axel’s face as his eyes slid shut.

 

“No one died from not having sex, for fuck’s sake.” Axel wanted to spat, but it came out more as a whisper.

 

“Neither did they from having sex.”

 

Axel groaned at that. God, was there winning with this guy? He didn’t want to have sex,  so Axel did his best not to even mention it in front of Mick. He actually got his right hand pretty busy, to the point of wondering if he should name it or something, since they had such a close, personal relationship lately, and then Mick just went and threw something like this at Axel.

 

Axel really didn’t want to say anything to that question of Mick’s, because it was fucking idiotic, horrible and _stupid_!

 

 … but also because he knew what the answer would be. Because if Axel was true to himself, then yes… he kind of missed having sex. The sex that he had – the only sex, he had, with Hartley of all people and even though the memory still left bitter taste in the back of Axel ‘s throat – the fact that he lost his virginity without love or at least lust – it made still made him shiver. When he remembered it, he couldn’t really look in Mick’s eyes, because it felt good and bad at the same time, but it was something – hopefully with a little bit of romance added this time – again While sex with Hartley wasn’t what he dreamed of, Axel would like to have sex. But with a person he loved. And that wasn’t possible, not if he didn’t want to break them.

Yes… Axel wanted to feel all of those feelings that people mentioned when they spoke about making love. But he didn’t want to give up Mick for that. It wasn’t as important as Mick was. 

 

 

“Why are you making this so hard?” Axel asked, opening his eyes and glaring at Mick.

 

“I’m not.” Mick sighed. “I just want us… I don’t want to have stupid secrets that would just mess things up for us. I just want to know, nothing will change, Axel.”

 

Axel didn’t really agree with that. Because by answering Mick’s question Axel would be admitting to something he didn’t want to. He’d admit to missing something in this thing that he and Mick shared and it wasn’t true. He didn’t miss sex. Sex wasn’t important. A lot of people didn’t need sex in their lives and neither did Axel. He wasn’t obsessed or anything.

 

“Axel.”

“Yes!” Axel snapped out, then pulled back from Mick and ran his hand over his face. “Yes, I think about sex sometimes.” He whispered and admitting it felt like losing. It felt like failing. Like failing Mick and Axel too, like betraying their relationship, saying that out loud, because as long as Axel just admitted things in his head, it was all safe. There was no one but him to hear them, and he could always write them off as moment of weakness. Thinking about things in his head didn’t mean anything. Hell, he thought about putting explosives in the toilet all the time, but he wouldn’t really do it (at least not as long as Cold was around). It was the saying things out loud that was dangerous. Because then it was out, for the whole world to hear and remember and _think_ about it, so why the hell did Mick make him do that?!

 

Axel shook his head and stood up. Mick caught his hand in next moment, pulling him back down and Axel yelped as he fell on Mick’s lap. Mick’s arms wound around his waist, holding Axel in place like heavy manacles and Axel struggled, until he felt Mick’s chin on his shoulder. The man pulled him even closer, Mick’s warmth pressing against Axel. Axel’s eyes slipped closed. He wondered if he always felt that weak when it came to physical touches from Mick or if it was a new thing. Because any time Mick did that, Axel felt all the fight leaving him.

 

“This it not a bad thing, Axel.” Mick whispered against his ear and Axel bit his lip.

 

“It kind of feels like it is.”

 

“It’s not.” There was soft press of lips against Axel’s temple and Axel sighed. It felt like it was a horrible thing, actually, not just a bad one. But having Mick there, talking to him quietly in that voice of his… Axel still felt tears prickling behind his eyelids. Too many shitty things in his life started with just words. With his words or someone’s else, but everything seemed to go to hell with this or that phrase, with people giving out promises, that they couldn’t keep. Axel didn’t want to do that with him and Mick. He didn’t want to give Mick promises, but since he did, he didn’t want to think about things that could make him break them.

 

Mick’s hand started to run small warm circles on the skin of Axel’s stomach (he had no idea when did he even slip his hand under his shirt) and it was calming Axel down.  He could feel the panic pushed back little by little. He still felt bad… but he believed that Mick won’ turn his words against him. He trusted Mick with his life. And even with his heart.

***

It was a few weeks that Axel was visiting the cop by now – oh Mick he knew he was a cop, all of the evidence was pointing towards that result and Mick had his share of cops already, the guy couldn’t hide. Not that he tried with his gun in plain sight most of the time. Well, either he didn’t try or he was really idiotic, but Mick was going to go with the first option, since the second wouldn’t play well with his plan.

 

But stalking the cop wasn’t why they were there. So Mick paid attention to the exercises, paying attention to all the details, because he wouldn’t want to accidentally hurt Axel, but he also noticed things around – the cop always had full fridge for example. He also always had that sweet soda that Axel liked. Mick never saw Thawne drink it, and the way the guy was hanging around Axel…

 

Thawne was always smiling when he was around Axel, laughing at his complains, before patting his chest with supportive word or two.

 

Axel wouldn’t smile back though. He would be depressed and angry with himself – Mick knew that, he was the one taking care of him when those moods hit, when he came home and yelled and screamed in his room about how useless he was going to be until his throat was soar. Then he’d sit on his bed, breathing hard until Mick would come over, forcing the boy into his arms. Mick wouldn’t say anything – he didn’t know what to say to Axel to make it all better, to make it all go away - because he couldn’t. That wasn’t in his powers and any words of support that other people would be able to come up with … Mick didn’t know how to work with words to make the other person understand what he wanted to say. He wasn’t sure how to talk about feelings without it physically hurting.  He knew how to make others hurt and burn and regret ever hurting people he cared about, but he already burnt the cop. That didn’t help Axel’s arm at all.

 

After the inner freak out, Axel would always calm down after a while, and when Rogues would get to Axel’s room for their movie night (one that they just got so used to), he was all smiles and grins again. No one would suspect anything, but Mick would still see the hints of shadows in Axel’s eyes every now and then behind that trickster mask.

 

But it seemed like Thawne _cared_. Which made Mick both – see red and appreciate it. Because as Axel slowly let one or two things about his past slip, Mick realized the kid deserved it. He deserved people to care about him, he deserved people wanting to be there for him. He deserved people giving him everything.

 

Axel couldn’t get everything from Mick. But Mick was too selfish to let the boy go, to let him find someone who’d be able to fulfill all of the parts of a ‘healthy’ relationship.  He was too selfish to even imagine life without Axel anymore. Maybe if Axel told him to his face that he wasn’t happy with Mick, that he wanted to leave, that he didn’t want to see Mick’s face ever again.

 

But Mick knew that even then he’d try to make sure Axel was okay. That he wasn’t on the streets, that he wasn’t struggling with his life as much as he did before. Axel wouldn’t say that though. Because the boy genuinely liked Mick, something that still left Mick baffled. He laughed at Mick when Mick growled and threatened, showing the worst parts of his personality over and over again. Axel would just snicker, press a quick kiss to Mick’s lips, before continuing with messing around with whatever it was that he was holding in his hands. He’d sit around when Mick was snippy after heist gone wrong and he would just talk about anything and everything, trying to get Mick’s mind off the last mission. Axel genuinely liked being with him, even though Mick could be a rude fuck. And where Mick had hard time saying his emotions out loud, once Axel realized that Mick won’t tear his head off for saying ‘I like you’, he tended to say it a lot.

 

So since Axel couldn’t get everything from Mick, and Mick wanted to keep having what they did have, that only left one solution. And the solution might be, possibly, Thawne. But Mick needed more information first. And there was only that much one could learn from stalking the guy. Not that Mick was admitting to anything.

 

***

“Why do you think I know who the Flash is?” Len asked, leaning back into his chair, his hands under his chin as he looked at Mick. Mick tried his best not to imagine a cat in his lap. That was the last thing Len needed to look like an evil master or something.

… and Mick was probably spending too much time with Axel, if that was one of his first thoughts.

 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Len.” Mick scoffed. “We both know you wouldn’t rest until you figured it out. Considering how … _hands on_ you are with the kid, I’m sure you know his identity.”

 

“Maybe I’m just into masks.” The man smirked and Mick rolled his eyes, because really? Sometimes he really wanted to punch Len.

 

“Yes, of course. So that’s why you keep a house full of masked vigilantes. Will I have to fight you for Axel’s honor too?” 

 

Len huffed at him at that, lifting his cold gun and cleaning it.

 

“I’m not going to tell you. I gave my word to the kid. And you know what’s my word worth.” Len’s eyes narrowed and Mick growled. Yes, he knew the worth of Len’s word. He had a pretty good idea, because he knew that the guy valued his word as much as he valued his family. Which meant he was not getting it out of Len, unless there would be a _really_ good reason for Len to spill. Which, of course, wasn’t happening.

 

“I need information.” Mick said anyway, because now that Len knew that Mick was curious _he’d_ go out of his way to figure out why. Mick really wasn’t in for the mind games that night.

 

That seemed to get Len’s attention as he put the gun down in his lap and looked at Mick.

 

“What information?”

 

“About Thawne.” Len opened his mouth and Mick waved his hand. “Nothing of the usual, official version. I’ve read everything they have in his files. I need to know who he really is.”

 

“Are you still worried about having Axel in his house?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

“Isn’t it a bit late for that?” Len’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you asking _now_?” Mick shrugged at that, not saying anything. Len was smart, he would figure it out anyway. Mick had no intensions to make it easier for him, since Len proved useless when it came to providing information Mick needed.

 

Len’s eyes moved over Mick’s face as he thought, as if trying to catch on any and all hints hidden there. Mick knew exactly the moment when the light bulb came on, because Len’s eyes widened just the tiniest bit and he sat up straight.

 

“You don’t like to share your things.”

 

“The alternative is unacceptable.” Mick said, his words ringing true in his heart. Because he knew that he wouldn’t accept any other outcome. He wanted Axel happy. He wanted Axel smiling and chuckling and cackling, he wanted his eyes full of life. He wanted the boy to go crazy with new ideas, new pranks. He wanted Axel to have _everything_ he could. Especially since Axel was everything that Mick wanted. Especially since Axel never pushed for anything from Mick and Mick wanted to give him all he could. Even if it didn’t mean it was from him.

 

“Thawne is naïve in a way.” Len spoke and Mick’s eyes snapped to him. “He believes in good in people no matter what. He also has this idea about second chances. He is fierce when protecting what’s dear to him to the point of giving up his life for them.”

 

“Is he safe?” Mick asked and Len shrugged.

 

“He’s different. Each one of us knows what the life is, we learnt the hard way. I’m not so sure about him.”

 

Mick frowned.

 

“So he might not understand.”

 

Len nodded.

  
“He might not.” He said and looked at Mick. “But the Flash did.”

 

 Mick watched Len for a moment, before scoffing.

 

“Is that you telling me to take the chance?”

 

“I’m not telling you anything.” Len said and turned back to his gun, checking the top of it. “I’m just sharing my experience.”

 

“Miiiiiiick!” A whine came from the hallway and Mick sighed, before turning and walking out of the room, just to have Axel slam into his chest. He lifted an eyebrow at the kid and Axel huffed.

 

“Harltey stole the Frozen DVD and said he wasn’t about to return it until we watched some stupid movie with hot guys!”

 

“Axel Walker, you did _not_ just call The Hobbit stupid!” Lisa yelled and Axel huffed, before hiding behind Mick as the woman came, glaring at him. “You’re _so_ going to regret that, brat!”

 

“Stand back!” Axel yelled pressing up against Mick and glaring at Lisa from under Mick’s arm. “I have Mick and I’m not afraid to use him!” Mick lifted an eyebrow at that, before pulling away and going to the kitchen. He needed a drink for that.

 

“Mick!”

 

Or coffee, that could work too. Len started making one with caramel after all.

 

“Mick, you’re supposed to save me!”

 

And while Mick was sure it had to be horrible and disgusting it turned out pretty good too.

 

“You suck!” Axel yelled, as Lisa smirked at him and Mick rolled his eyes.

 

“I’m pretty sure I don’t, that’s the problem!” Mick yelled back and then smiled when he heard Axel gasp and then giggle and snicker. Which probably meant that Lisa caught him, and while some time ago Mick would find that worrisome, not lately. At the moment, he was pretty sure that the only danger Axel really faced from her was some merciless tickling.

 

Mick picked up his mug and took a sip. While Axel’s injury was horrible, in a way it made him bond more with the Rogues. Become more accepted and even though Mick hated the wound in Axel’s shoulder, he was thankful that Axel had some people now. Not just living in the same house, but also being his family.

 

They ended up watching the Hobbit anyway. Axel was curled up next to Mick, his head on Mick’s shoulder as the rest were scattered on the bed and on the couch that Lisa got Hartley and Mark to drag up to Axel’s room (with Mark rolling his eyes and Hartley bitching every step of the way). Even Len sat down with them, for once not pretending to be uninterested in the movie night, or the movie itself.

 

The movie stopped for a moment when Lisa kicked Hartley off the bed to fetch the popcorn:

 

(“Why the hell does it always have to be _me_?!”

 

“You’re the youngest.” Lisa rolled her eyes and Hartley glared.

 

“That’s so not true! _Axel_ is!”

 

“Well, Axel is busy.”

 

“He’s just snogging and cuddling his boyfriend!”

 

“As I said, busy.”) and then continued when Hartley came back with three bowls, whining about it taking too long.

 

Even though Axel said he didn’t want to watch that movie, Mick still felt him tensing up against him, every time the music changed and Mick even caught him googling ‘Kili’ the next day. He just smiled, not saying anything, but he considered taking a picture. It was better to see Axel obsessed and happy with something than sad and gloomy.

 

And if Mick went out of his way so he could go around the Game shop the next day when it was his turn to go shopping just so Axel could pull him inside whining and get a Kili figure… well no one would be able to call him up on that. Mick wasn’t admitting to anything. Again.

***

 

“I know you’re there.” Thawne hissed, the gun trained into his general direction and Mick had to give him that… at least he knew how to protect himself.

 

Mick stepped out of the shadows and nodded at the man.

 

“Good reflexes.” He said and watched as Thawne slowly lowered the gun, confused.

 

“What are you doing here?” The man asked, and his eyes widened the next second, the gun back in his holster as he stepped closer. “Is it Axel? Is he in pain? Does he need help?”

 

And that probably meant that Mick’s decision wasn’t so bad. That maybe there was something to build on, something that could work out after all.

 

“No, he’s fine. But it is about him, in a way. Come.” Mick said as he turned.

 

“Where?” Thawne asked, following Mick without hesitation and Mick decided they would have to work on that. The guy was just too trusting. It wouldn’t do for Axel to be with him and then get sad after Thawne played hero and died on them or something.

 

“I’ll buy you a drink. We need to talk.”

 

Thawne frowned at that, but nodded and Mick led him to one of the smaller pubs. Not the Sinners, he didn’t need one of the Rogues coming up and wanting to join in. This wasn’t about them.

 

“Uhm…” Thawne said once they were settled, looking up from his drink. “We’ve been sitting here for ten minutes or so, just staring at each other.” He pointed out and shrugged. “Maybe you want to start talking about whatever this is.”

 

And off course Thawne would be that kind of idiot who wouldn’t figure things out from a single drink. Hell even Hartley was smarter. Though Hartley was supposedly a genius so maybe that was a bad comparison.

 

But Thawne still just stared and it seemed like Mick won’t get out of it easily. Mick sighed and forced the words out of his mouth.

 

“I want you to have sex with my partner.”

 

Thawne blinked and his eyes widened as he gaped at Mick. He opened his mouth once or twice but no sound came out. Mick thought he looked a bit like a goldfish, but maybe that was a success. He wasn’t saying ‘no’ after all. So Mick turned to the bar, waving for two more drinks – they needed to celebrate.

 

“I’m not sleeping with Snart!”

 

Or maybe not. Mick will have to talk to Len, to explain to him that ‘naïve’ and ‘stupid’ were two completely different words, no matter how cute the person was, because the second was obviously the case with Thawne. Maybe there was something to the blonde jokes after all. Mick just hoped he wouldn’t need to go over them to figure out how to communicate in easy words with the guy.

 

“Snart’s with B-Flash and I wouldn’t do that to him! We’re friends, friends don’t betray each other!”

 

Mick took a deep breath. Burning anything wouldn’t help his cause. It wouldn’t get the guy to sleep with Axel, it wouldn’t get him even naked in the same room as the boy.

 

“I’m _not_ talking about Len.” At Thawne’s confused look, Mick rolled his eyes. The guy was really slow, wasn’t he? “I meant Axel.” The realization slowly dawned on the ‘Detective’s’ face, Mick could actually see the little light bulb appearing right above that halo of his before the man frowned.

 

“Aren’t you two together?”

 

Mick sighed. Again, why did he think that trusting Len was a good idea? That guy didn’t even want to admit that his sister was a bitch. Mick was pretty sure that if Len ever had a child, he would spoil it rotten without even realizing it.

  
“We are. Which is why I would call him my partner.”

 

Thawne frowned and stood up. Mick probably didn’t even imagine the disgusted expression on his face.

 

“Thank you for the drink, but I’m not one for fulfilling sexual fantasies like that.”

 

Mick’s hand shot out, clutching at Thawne’s arm.

 

“It’s not… a fantasy.” A fantasy would be Thawne not being an idiot while he slept with Axel. Or being a criminal or something.

 

“Please tell me you don’t plan to follow that up with something cheesy like ‘with you it’s reality’ or something.”

 

Well… no wonder that the CCPD didn’t catch them yet if they had people like that working for them. After he was finish with this this, Mick planned to refuse to even consider talking about movies he liked, not to mention real _feelings_. He had enough of this emotional crap.

 

“No, Axel requires…. Some things I can’t give him.” Thawne was opening his mouth again and Mick was giving up. He tried. Axel could give him a gold star for that and Mick might want to search the internet for some dildos and give Axel that. Maybe he’d be satisfied for a moment. And later, Mick could get him a fucking machine or something. As long as Mick won’t have to deal with this any longer than he already did.

 

“Mick doesn’t like sex.” Voice came from behind him and Mick turned, just to see Len, beer in hand and stepping up to them. He had to be the hooded person that Mick ignored when they got into the pub, huh.

  
“Were you following me?” Mick hissed, his eyes narrowed and Len rolled his eyes.

 

“Of course. You were asking questions, then you suddenly disappeared. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what you were planning to do. And what that would mean.”

 

Mick rolled his eyes, but was actually glad that Len tagged along. Maybe he’ll make the whole thing easier. He turned to Thawne, who was looking between the two of them before he nodded.

 

“Rory’s asexual?” At the look on Mick’s face Thawne quickly lifted his hands up in front of him in calming gesture. “It’s fine. It’s nothing bad. I mean there are a lot of aseuxals out there nowadays.”

 

“…there are?” Len asked, and Thawned nodded.

 

“Well yes. The question of sexuality is widely spread today. Heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, the spectrums of it all. You know...” He shrugged. “There are groups of each of those.”

 

It felt like something lifted from Mick’s chest at that. Something very similar like that time when Axel heard that Mick didn’t plan on having sex with him and Mick was preparing himself for the kid to huff and leave him, but instead Axel grinned and told him that sex was overrated. This feeling… something heavy disappearing from what would feel like soul if Mick still had one…

 

Mick learnt to live with it. He didn’t question his lack of sexual desire, he just rolled with it, and he firmly believed that he didn’t care. He started playing with the fire a bit more, since it seemed to freak people out, and thus prevented any and all relationship and advances someone might feel the need to express. But there was still certain _ease_ with which Mick could take the next breath knowing there was nothing wrong with him (other than the obvious things, really). That there were more people like him. The realization felt… good. It wasn’t anything major in his life – almost nothing changed, really, it was just the feeling. And by the look at Len’s face, it was the same for the guy as him.

 

“Then you understand why I can’t give Axel what he needs.” Mick said, and Thawne frowned.

 

“… I get where you’re coming from. But there is a problem.” Mick lifted an eyebrow at that and Thawne sighed. “I don’t just sleep around. I don’t do one night stands.”

 

“I figured. I don’t want a one night stand from you.” Mick explained and if the guy would ask Mick what it was that he wanted, Mick was going to say fuck it. But Thawne didn’t, thank god, and instead he frowned.

 

“How is that even going to work? You’ll have him every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I’ll have him Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sundays we switch?”

 

Mick had to admit to himself, he didn’t think it through. Because just one day without Axel sounded horrible. He couldn’t give up the boy for three or more.

 

“Actually,” Len said, after sipping his beer. “I think you guys need to work on it a bit more. Neither of you can be in relationship with Axel without being in relationship with the other.” Mick guessed the glare that he gave in response to _that_ crazy idea actually got across to Len, because he sighed. “It might sound bad, but tell me, can you imagine Axel being with either of you while he feels like he’s cheating on the other?” He shook his head.

 

“Well, that’s why I don’t want to mess it up.” Thawne said and looked at Mick. “Whatever you two have… sex or not, you seem happy. That should be important, right?”

 

Why did Mick think Thawne got it? He didn’t. Not at all.

 

“Look, Thawne, Axel doesn’t have anything against you. I can even go as far as to say he likes you, kind of. You sound like I good person. I could trust you with Axel.” Mick could learn to trust Thawne with Axel, slowly over the time. The guy felt safe in a way, and Mick was more than sure that he wouldn’t catch Axel’s arm and drag him to the police station by now – which was as good beginning as any other.

 

“This is messed up.” The blonde muttered quietly and Mick shrugged.

 

“Welcome to the life of the Rogues.” Everything was messed up. That was how they rolled. Whether they wanted it or not, it was how it was. Messed up was their way of dealing with all kind of shit.

 

“… can I think it over?” Thawne asked and Mick frowned. There wasn’t anything to think about, in his opinion. How could Thawne even _suggest_ wondering and deciding if Axel was worth it? He should’ve jumped at the opportunity and Mick opened his mouth to explain the idiocy that Thawne was, but Len’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

 

“Yes. I understand it’s a lot to chew on. Say hello to the Flash for me.” Len nodded, putting the empty bottle on the counter and turned around, walking to the door. Mick gave Thawne one last look and a nod, before following his friend.

 

“What the hell was that about?” Mick growled once they were out. “I had it under control.”

 

Len glared.

 

“If by ‘having it under control’ you mean ‘threatening someone to get them to fuck your boyfriend’, then yes, Mick, you had it perfectly under control.” Len shook his head at him. “You should consider yourself lucky I was around.” He huffed, and continued walking.

 

Mick wondered if Thawne would say no to the whole deal if the Flash whined to him about Lenny’s hair being burnt off.

***

The next time they went over to Thawne’s house, Axel didn’t do much better. The exercise wasn’t easy at all, pulling at his muscles, the ones he couldn’t even feel normally. The ones he couldn’t _use_ but of _course_ they were in for making Axel’s life a living hell. The pain moved from the shoulder all the way to the elbow that day, something that made Axel bit his lip as he tried not to let even a whine out. It made Eddie’s face brighten though, the man would smile wide and happy, and Axel was sure that if he somehow managed to bottle that smile he could sell it as ‘compact sunshine or something. It would be probably a great hit too.

 

“What are you, a sadist?! Pain of the others makes you happy?” Axel hissed when the way Eddie made his arm turn hurt particularly hard and the man just smiled even more.

 

“Pain is good.” And no, it freaking _wasn’t._ “It means you’re getting the feeling back to your arm. You’re healing.”

 

That made Axel’s heart skip a beat as he stared at the man. Up until now Axel didn’t dare to hope. Snow couldn’t tell him anything about better after all, she kept talking about operations that were too late now, so Axel really just dreamt about his arm getting back to normal. But there, right then Eddie’s smile turned to a ray of hope and a small smile appeared on Axel’s own face. Could he be? Healing? Could it be that after so freaking _long_ there was finally, _finally_ something that would make this whole thing actually meaningful and not just a torture for Axel? It was a long time since Axel felt his heart shimmer with hope, but the warmth spreading through his chest couldn’t be anything else.

 

“Or it’s a phantom pain.” The Flash said helpfully from where he was eating something (again), leaning against the door. When did he even get there?

 

“Phantom pain is usually experienced with the limb or organ physically missing.” Eddie said slowly, the smile a bit forced as he looked at the Flash. “Axel still has his arm.” The man was talking _very_ slowly. The Flash shrugged.

 

“It can also occur following a nerve avulsion injury.” Flash said and looked up from where he was opening a can, blinking. “Why are you all looking at me like that?” He asked.

 

“Thank you, Flash, I think you helped enough, now you can fuck off.” Mick growled, taking a step closer to Axel.

 

“What did I do?” Flash whined, looking between the four of them.

 

“It’s a shame that your brain works as fast as your mouth does only _very_ rarely.” Len muttered and Axel groaned, before sitting down on the chair and letting his head fall on the table. There went his good mood. Axel actually felt like screaming. There he was, foolish enough to believe that he was getting better, while he was only getting worse.

 

A tear slid down his cheek, feeling hot and in contrast with the table that was cool against Axel’s skin. Well, at least it was pulling his attention away from that hope that he felt just moments ago, turning into something twisted, dark and suffocating. His right hand clutched into his shirt, trying to ground himself, to not get lost in that sensation, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough and Axel could feel his mind spinning with the despair and-

 

“Axel.” He heard Eddie’s voice and it felt like it was coming from far, _far_ away. He didn’t open his eyes, until warm fingers ran through his hair, bringing him back to the reality. When he did lift his head the Flash and Cold were nowhere to be seen. There was only Mick, his hand still running through Axel’s hair, softly as if he was afraid that if he moved any quicker he’d hurt Axel – as if Axel could be hurt more than he was already – and Eddie. Eddie who was sitting in front of Axel, pushing what seemed like hot chocolate towards him and smiling that blindingly happy smile of his. The smile that felt like nothing was as bad as it felt at first really.

It didn’t help too much though, but Axel didn’t want to worry these two. The two people that tried so hard and were there for him at time like that, when Axel felt weak, desperate, useless and like there wasn’t anything left for him in his future.

 

The chocolate was burning on Axel’s tongue, but it was something else to concentrate on, a pain that he knew the origin of, so Axel drank is as quick as he could.

 

***

 

Axel didn’t want to go home that day. His arm still hurt, phantom pain or not, and he didn’t want to think about anything. He said that to Mick too, who swore to hurt the Flash the next time he sees him (‘Please, don’t do that, Mick, I can’t even imagine how Len would whine.’ ‘He won’t have any reason to, I’ll send him Flash’s dick in a box. I’ll even add a bow or something’). Mick also offered to get them a room in a hotel – the quiet could help Axel calm down a bit, when Eddie shrugged.

 

“Or you could stay here.” The man said, and Mick looked up at him at that. His eyes narrowed and he shook his head.

 

“We wouldn’t want to mess your _time_.”

 

Eddie looked up at that, his eyes moving from Axel to Mick and his gaze didn’t waver for a moment.

 

“I don’t need any more time. I had enough of it as it was.”

 

They didn’t watch a movie. Axel said that was something of a ‘Rogue time together’. Instead Thawne – Eddie. If they were going to do that, it was Eddie, not Thawne – pulled a game from somewhere – a Millionaire or something. A game full of questions that had nothing to do with fire, that bored even Axel, if the boy drawing little trickster-y doodles on a paper next to the game was any hint. But the kid also knew how to answer most of the questions, somehow, and in the end made Mick’s torture pretty short. When they finished Mick offered to cook, before Thawne – Eddie, fuck – before Eddie came up with another stupidity. It was an excuse to search through Th-Eddie’s kitchen too, just in case – and disconnecting the phone. Just to make sure it wouldn’t be so easy for the guy to try anything stupid.

 

When Mick returned some time later with three plates, he found out that ‘movies’ and ‘shitty television’ were obviously two different things too, because Axel was giggling about this or that and while there was still a small smile on T-Eddie’s lips, it was a bit confused and weirded out.

 

Mick expected the jealousy to come bursting during the whole time they were eating dinner – it didn’t. He decided not to think about it until much, _much_ later, when Eddie bit his goodnight after Axel insisted on sleeping on the couch. Mick sat down next to him, keeping watch over the boy and only then did he let his mind wander.

***

 Mick was surprised when he woke up. He didn’t plan to fall asleep. He just held Axel in his arms, watching the boy dream and somehow during the night he had to black out. At the moment there was no Axel present and Mick sat up, his eyes narrowing. He was slowly starting to trust Thawne, but if he did _anything_ to Axel at _all_ , including dragging him to jail or something –

 

There was a small snicker coming from the kitchen. Mick stood up and made his way over, opening the door just a crack to look in there. The scene that greeted him made his heart skip a few beats.

 

Axel was sitting on one of the chairs snickering and giggling, stealing strawberries from the bowl as Th-Eddie (he didn’t hurt Axel, so it was still Eddie). as Eddie was flipping the pancakes – and failing horribly. Pancakes didn’t turn in the air, just jumped a few centimeters above the pan and then flopped down. Or they did jump and in mid turn they fell back, creating something very mashed and sticky and without any real shape. That was when Eddie was lucky of course. There were two or three pancakes where the dough missed the pan altogether and one time when Eddie flipped the pancake so quickly that it hit the ceiling. For a moment Mick expected it to get stuck up there – after all, that was what always happened in the movies or books, even though Mick had no idea what the hell they had to add to that pancake to have it _stick_ like freaking _glue_. It didn’t. It slipped back down, going all ‘splat’ across the floor. Mick was really happy _he_ wasn’t the one to clean that.

 

He wouldn’t even realize that he was standing there for some time, smiling at the scene the two of them made, if Eddie didn’t blink and turn to him, before giving him sheepish smile.

 

“Morning. Hope we didn’t wake you up.” 

 

Mick shook his head, the smile falling off his lips as he stepped into the room fully, before sitting down next to Axel. The boy was still radiating heat and Mick really hoped it wasn’t fever or something. The Flash got him a bit worried with his stupid phantom pain.

 

“No. I slept in already.” That wasn’t even lie as Len would go sit down in the kitchen, cup of coffee or tea in front of him. He’d be going through plans for this heist or that one, while his hand would stir the non-existent sugar in his drink. Mick could already imagine the ‘clinck’, ‘clinck’, ‘FUCKING CLINCK’ the spoon would make. He still didn’t understand how most of the Rogues were able to sleep through that.

 

“That’s good.” Eddie beamed, and there he was, again with that blinding smile of his and Mick considered grabbing shades for a moment. The moment passed though (and Axel would never let him live it down), so Mick didn’t need to go search for any kind of eye protection.

 

“We’re making pancakes with jam, chocolate, cream and strawberries.” Eddie said and pointed to a bowl, that possibly held strawberries at some point through that morning, before coming face to face with the disaster that was Axel. Three strawberries were lying at the bottom of it at the moment, but in next second Axel’s hand snatched them up. When Eddie looked at the boy, Axel smiled, guilty, before shrugging and popping the fruit in his mouth.

 

“… make that without strawberries.”

 

Axel snickered (and almost choked) as he shrugged again.

 

“Not my fault they are so good!” He attempted to say, though it came out a lot more like ‘hmfufhjfjf’. The only reason why _Mick_ understood it, was because he was expert on the  ‘Axel-chewed-off-more-than-he-could-swallow-at-once’ speak.

 

Eddie shook his head and grinned, before telling Axel he won’t get any pancakes for that, which started the boy on new mumbled rant about how it was not fair or something, while Eddie laughed at him that he couldn’t understand a word coming out of that full mouth.

 

When Eddie put some of the pancakes on Mick’s plate and added generous amount of chocolate, Mick decided that he was too busy to pay attention and translate.

 

Eddie didn’t really suck as a cook.

***

It was few days later when Mick got a text. He frowned, surprised and a bit suspicious, because he was pretty sure not many people had his phone number. Actually the only ones he _did_ give his number to were Len and Axel and that was it. So it was really, really weird when he was sitting in the living room – he finally managed to get Axel to spend more time with Rogues _outside_ of his room, and his phone vibrated.

 

‘Hey, movie tonight? :)’ The text said and Mick shot a look at Axel – who was too busy arguing with Hartley to send him anything. Mick doubted Len would ask him out for movies. He shook his head, and put the phone back down, before turning to the TV. Just to have his phone vibrate again in few minutes.

 

‘Are you ignoring me?’ Okay. This was obviously some kind of a teenager being really desperate. He’d probably think that his girl left him hanging or something, poor bastard. Mick smirked to himself.

 

‘Yes.’ He wrote back. If the boy was going to worry and go to drown his sorrow in alcohol, let give him a real reason then. At least until he’ll figure it out. Hah. He’d love to see them going to trace the text back to him.

 

‘What?! What the hell did I do _this_ time? You’re always bitchy lately!’

 

Mick snorted and lifted an eyebrow. If THAT was the way the boy or girl or whatever was talking to their partners, they actually deserved it.

 

‘Just when I’m seeing your number.’ That wasn’t a lie also, because Mick felt ‘really’ bitchy just seeing that person’s text. What an asshole.

 

‘Fine! You know what?! I have enough of this. Fuck you.’

 

Mick smirked. Oh really.

 

‘You kiss your mother with that mouth?’

 

“What are you grinning about?” Axel asked and Mick blinked when he heard his voice so close. He didn’t even notice the argument with Hartley ended. Axel was sitting on the ground in front of him, Hartley pouting on the other side of the room for one reason or the other, so Mick shrugged and gave Axel his phone. The boy read it over before he made a face.

 

“And they call US psychopaths. At least we are half-decent when it comes to being in relationship.” He said, the blinked. “New one.” It took Mick a few seconds to realize that Axel meant _new text_ not a _new relationship_.

 

‘I was the best thing that could ever happen to you. You never did appreciate that. Always whining about me not paying enough attention to you. So you know what? You were never good enough for me either! I fucked your best friend several times! Hah! You’re not good enough, you’ll never find someone who’d actually love you.’

 

Mick frowned at that, pulling Axel closer to him.

 

“Come up here.” He huffed as Axel blinked, but straddled Mick leaning his head to one side. Mick smiled, brushed Axel’s cheek before pulling him closer and pressing his lips against the boy’s. His arm pulled Axel even closer, pressing him against his own chest, as he snapped a picture with his free hand.

 

He licked at Axel’s lips, before pulling back and looking at the phone. The angle was a bit crooked and their faces weren’t that visible in the picture – the kid won’t shit himself from fear of the Rogues then, shit, but it was obvious what they were doing at least. Mick added ‘I already did’ to the text, sending it, before looking at Axel. The boy was still a bit dazed, but he was smiling wide and happy.

 

‘Omg, dude, wtf, could’ve told me I had wrong number, shit. EW.’

 

Axel giggled again, harder this time, and he leaned against Mick, pressing his face in Mick’s neck.

 

“I’m supposed to be the trickster here, you know.”

 

“It’s contagious, I guess.” Mick said, running his hand over Axel’s warm back.

 

“I _hope_ not.” Lisa growled and glared at them. “If it is, I’m moving out. My shirt is still suffering from blue stains.”

 

“You’re not moving anywhere.” Len said, not even looking up from his papers.

 

“I’m an _adult_ , jerk, you can’t boss me around as you can Hartley!”

 

“Hey! He can’t boss me around!”

 

“Pfff, _anyone_ can boss you around.”

 

“That’s _so_ not true!”

 

Another one of the ‘Rogues’ argument started, but Mick didn’t pay any attention to it. Instead he focused on the little puffs of breath that were tickling the skin on his neck with every small snicker that Axel made. On how Axel’s hand tightened on his shirt when he thought Lisa or Hartley said something particularly funny or mean to each other. On how comfortable he looked, and how the slow heartbeat screamed ‘happy and content’.

 

When Mick’s phone rang few minutes later, he kind of expected it to be the asshole guy. It wasn’t. It was Eddie, asking them out for dinner and ‘the shelter has few dogs they need to walk, we might want to do that’ and Mick had to wonder for a moment if he was serious. But Axel was sitting up with his back straight, staring at him, his mouth opened just the slightest bit and his hand was curled in a fist.

 

Mick sighed and agreed and Axel whooped, throwing his good arm around Mick’s neck and kissing him again. Mick could hear Eddie laughing softly in the phone and if he thought the moment few minutes ago was perfect… well he didn’t know there could be a moment like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and join me at [My tumblr ](http://gemenice.tumblr.com) if you want :D


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